Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Birth of a Meme: Big Bill Hell's ***Explicit Material***


About ten years ago, my brother John was at my house for a party. He pulled me over to the computer because he wanted to show me something on Youtube. It was a vulgar fake commercial about a Baltimore car dealership that he found hilarious.

When it was done, John asked me if I had seen it before. I said, "Yes, I made it." He was surprised, and so was I. To my knowledge, only two VHS copies of the spot existed, and one of them was safely tucked away in my basement. The other one must have escaped.

Once the spot found its way onto Youtube, it became a genuine self-sustaining meme. Other people created their own versions. It was amazing. Big Bill was getting more hits than all of the trailers for all of my movies combined. When it came to Youtube, Big Bill Hell's was far and away the most popular thing I had ever been involved with.

Here's the original:


So how did a wannabe Christian screenwriter, and a lovable sea monster from a local kiddie's TV show, become the invisible hands behind such a vulgar, long-lived meme? It's a long story, but, since I've got cabin fever due to the pandemic, I might as well tell you.

It started back in January of 1990 when I either quit or was laid off by the advertising agency Gray Kirk & Evans. I'm still not sure which it was. I had been with the company on and off since late-1984/early-1985 when it was originally called Smith Burke & Azzam. I got the job through nepotism, pure and simple. My mother Clara Murphy was the office manager. She got me a job in the mail room. I shifted into the Accounting Department, did some time in Media before finally shifting into Broadcast. If I had any ambition, it was to become a copywriter, but mainly I just enjoyed working for the company so I didn't mind when they made me a producer instead.


I said my career with the advertising agency was on and off because that was the nature of the beast. When they got new accounts, they staffed up. When they lost accounts, a bloodbath inevitably ensued. I believe I was laid off four times prior to 1990, nearly once a year. It never bothered me. I was usually only gone a few weeks before they'd start hiring me freelance again and before long I'd be back on staff getting ready for the next layoff.  (I should have stayed in the Accounting Department. They were a great group of people and rarely got laid off. Creatives are a dime a dozen, but you don't fire the people who handle the money!)

The 1990 bloodbath was a little different. This time I had a choice. The creative director, Michael Diliberto, called me into the office. He said I wouldn't be laid off, but my duties would change. They were laying off the broadcast business manager and I would have to pick up some of her responsibilities, which included talent contracts and broadcast trafficking. I had performed both tasks in the past, but I had been promoted out of them. I didn't like doing the contracts, but I was fine with that. I did not, however, want to get back into trafficking. That was a pain in the butt.

In the pre-digital era, you had to actually ship physical copies of the commercials to all of the television and radio stations where you bought time for your clients. Radio was easy. They all took reel-to-reel tapes of the spots. The television stations were a pain. They used a variety of different tape formats. Plus, you had to type up and include all sorts of instructions with the packages. You'd FedEx or messenger out the tapes, then have to call the next morning and verify that the tapes arrived. This was not one of the more glamorous parts of the business. Still, I was always a team player. I was fine with it, until I asked one final question as I was leaving his office.

"This is only temporary, right? Until we pick up some new accounts?"

"No," he replied. "This will be permanent."

That changed the equation. I asked him if I could have some time to think about it. He gave me a week. This was tough. I loved the company, but I couldn't see taking a permanent demotion. I decided to have a vote. Using a shot of myself wearing the Mr. Fun costume, previously worn by comedian Thom Sharp  for our Six Flags commercials, I created a poster which read: Mr. Fun, should he stay or go?

Should He Stay or Go?
I just want to add that Thom didn't wear underwear over the spandex. Sadly, I had to. I couldn't fill it out the way he did.

The comptroller of the company, the late great Barbara Wells, called me into her office after she heard about the poster. She wanted to know why I was leaving. She said the partners wanted me to stay. I told her I couldn't take a permanent demotion. She was shocked. She said she was in the meeting concerning my status and the company president, Roger Gray, had instructed Michael to make sure I knew my new duties would only be temporary.  She wanted to take me to Roger's office and report what Michael had said. I said, "No, don't bother." I told her Michael's offer meant he didn't have sufficient confidence in me in that capacity. There was no point staying under those circumstances. She understood. Mr. Fun was going.

BTW, there were no hard feelings with Michael. I worked with him as an editor dozens and dozens of times over the next twenty plus years.

Here's a spot I did with him a couple of years ago:



Now back to our story already in progress....

My former boss, Barry L. Smith, the mighty Smith of Smith Burke & Azzam, heard of my departure from GKE and had an idea. His friend, Chic Davis, who ran the Advertising Association of Baltimore, had an assignment no one would touch. Every year, the association held an awards ceremony celebrating the best local advertising work. The event was widely attended. I even made a spectacle of myself at the ceremony the previous year. This year, however, he wanted to shake it up a bit by having something called The Ad Follies, which would poke fun at the major agencies and their product. Baltimore was a small town. None of the usual suspects wanted to take a chance on offending either their current or their potential future employer. Barry told Chic to call me. He said I was just fired from GKE and didn't care whether I worked in the business again. He said I would be perfect. So Chic called me. The job was a freebie, but what did I care? I wasn't doing anything else.

At the time the Baltimore ad community was dominated by the six "families": Eisner; Trahan Burden & CharlesRichardson Myers & DonofrioGray Kirk & Evans, the venerable VanSant Dugdale and the all-powerful W.B. Doner. The companies were incredibly-competitive, but staffed with former employees of their enemies. Baltimore advertising people just bounced around between the shops. If you were a copywriter, an art director or a producer or an account executive, the best way to get a raise at, say, GKE was to jump over to TBC for a year, then get hired back at a higher salary. So you didn't want to burn too many bridges.

I had no such concerns. WBFF Channel 45, now the local Fox Affiliate, was going to provide the production. They were chosen for two reasons. One, their sales reps wanted to raise their visibility with the agencies. They thought assisting on this fun show would help them. Two, all of the regular post production houses turned Chic down because they thought assisting on this fun show would alienate them from the agencies. Local legend "Traffic Jam" Jimmy Uhrin, cameraman, editor and later on-air news personality, was assigned the job. To anyone growing up in Baltimore in my era, Jimmy was best known for playing Mondy the Sea Monster on The Captain Chesapeake Show for sixteen years.


I can't remember all the bits, but I do remember a couple. My former mentor and creative director, Jeff Millman, who had decamped GKE for Vansant Dugdale had reportedly worked at all of the agencies. So I did a tour of his former offices, which grew larger as he career progressed. I also remember going to Richardson, Myers and Donofrio and demanding to speak to Mr. Richardson or Mr. Myers -- two men who never existed. Apparently when Hal Donofrio founded his agency, he added the two names to make the place sound bigger and more important than it was. Everything was going well. I was recklessly bold until we got to W.B. Doner.

W.B. Doner was largest and most powerful agency the region, and its boss, the immaculately-attired Herb Fried bestrode Baltimore like a colossus. An unwary adman could be easily crushed under his feet. No one, myself included, thought we would be able to bluff our way into actually interviewing him, but when we gained entry Jimmy finally drew the line. He said under no circumstances could I mock or be disrespectful to Herb. Herb could cripple the station if he withdrew his ads. I acquiesced immediately. It was easy to talk crap about Herb from a distance, but a mere glance at his mighty countenance cowed me completely. I can't remember what I said to him, but I was not disrespectful, only a tad impertinent. He smiled and chuckled. Mission accomplished.


We hurried back to WBFF to edit the bits together. In addition to the pieces we shot, I believe we also had some internal bits donated by the agencies themselves. As we were finishing, Jimmy asked me if I ever heard the Big Bill Hell's radio spot. I hadn't. He played it and I found it hilarious. I asked him who wrote and produced it. He said he didn't know. Just some local guys after a session for a real dealership. I said we had to do it as a TV commercial for the show. Jimmy agreed and we were in luck. They had all the automotive footage we needed laying around the station. Then we just added the tackiest possible graphics.

Since we were using the preexisting creative without permission, we decided that this would be a one time only showing. We made one VHS copy for the show, and kept another one at the station as a backup. The master was supposed to be destroyed. Our material played well at The Ad Follies, with Big Bill Hell's getting the most laughs. I made sure I walked away with the VHS and took it home with me and hid it away.

The VHS from WBFF somehow got loose and eventually ended up on Youtube.

So did we create Big Bill Hell's? No. The creators were some anonymous radio guys who never came forward to claim it.* Jimmy and I, however, were the ones who transformed the radio commercial into a television commercial that could find a home on a platform like YouTube. In a sense, we were the first to add onto the meme, but we would certainly not be last. I have seen countless versions come and go over the years, and I don't mind. They're not ripping us off any more than we ripped the original creators off.

Here's a few picked at random.  There are many, many more:








Here are some reaction videos:





Big Bill Hell's obviously lives on. I only wish the original creators would step forward and take a bow. They have inspired laughter all around the world.

Was anyone's career destroyed by The Ad Follies? No. However, Barry was right about one thing: I never got another full time job at an agency or anywhere else for that matter. Thirty years of freelance, baby! And all six of those agencies numbered as my clients to one degree or another.

Gray Kirk & Evans, the company that laid me off, soon merged with VanSant Dugdale to become GKV. I started freelancing for them almost immediately, earning over twice as much as I would have if I had timidly remained on the staff that first year. How about that! And that was just the beginning. They became one of my most enjoyable -- and lucrative -- clients during that decade and beyond.

Those were heady days. Sadly, a number of those agencies are gone. The digital marketplace has changed the advertising business. There's less need for full service agencies anymore. Clients do more of their work in-house, and only farm out jobs beyond their capabilities to little specialty boutiques. And the budgets.... Man, they're only a fraction of what they used to be before the digital revolution. When I started in the game in the 1980s, the older folks used to laugh and say, "Sean, you should have been around when we were making the real money." Now I say the same thing to my younger colleagues.

I still love working on advertising, but most of my creative efforts are placed elsewhere now -- on TV, films and books.

When I watch Big Bill Hell's, I have to smile. It brings back great memories of a crucial time in my life when I was able to summon up the courage necessary to step out of my comfortable little nest to see if I could fly.

I could. And I haven't looked back, except in fond remembrance.

PS. At the suggestion of one of my nieces, I previously shared my info with Know Your Meme, and got them in touch with Jimmy Uhrin. I was hoping they would have found the original author(s), but no such luck.

*A friend of mine in the industry pointed me in the direction of actual creator of  the Big Bill Hell's after I posted this blog. He said the creator had distanced himself from the work. I have reached out to him through a couple different email addresses, but received no response. Therefore, I will not be outing him here.

A impromptu reunion of some of the ad guys
I better plug my memoir, The Promise, or the Pros and Cons of Talking with God, published by TouchPoint Press, to restore my faith-based street cred:



Here are some sample chapters:

Chapter 7 - Mission Accomplished
Chapter 15 - Quarter To Midnight

My novel Chapel Street is now available! You can currently buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & Noble.


Learn more about the book, click Here.

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7 comments:

  1. Sean, you were too subversive to be a copywriter. They were scared to give you that kind of power!

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  2. Thanks for posting this! I first saw Big Bill Hell's on YouTube over a decade ago. I thought it was hilarious!

    Every few years I go back and watch it again. It still makes me laugh and I love sharing it with new people!

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  3. Thank you for creating the most hilarious car commercial ever made. You are a king amongst men. I salute you.

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  4. The rip from the station VHS is not the best and as the years go by, it's far from archive-quality. If you're willing to rip your copy to the internet somehow, we'd have a much higher quality source for memes like you've seen among other things like upscaling.
    likewise, you could get in touch with someone like VWestlife on youtube who has the ability and knowledge to get a perfect rip of the media much better than most people.

    The other idea branching off of that, is contact the Internet Archive, and see if they're interested in it. it is so ingrained in early 00's internet culture that it would be treated like a priceless artifact and archived with the utmost care.

    As much as you're probably guarding that tape with your life, the longer it sits, the more likely it is to succumb to age and degradation VHS tapes are susceptible to... of course, not U-Matic bad, but still bad... and the internet as a whole will never have a clean original copy. As an anonymous commentor on your blog, I beg you, on my knees, to please consider giving it to some entity that can get it done right... and never legacybox.

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    Replies
    1. My VHS to digital ripper is down. When I get a new one, I will upload it.

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