Now that I have returned to my alma mater Towson University as an instructor, I decided to dig through my old filing cabinet in the basement and look at some of my work there as a student. And, since I am always looking for something to blog about, I have decided to share it with you. (Pray I don't start posting blogs about my grade school work!)
This is first of three short stories I wrote for a fiction writing class taught by Dr. Carl Behm in the fall semester of 1982. (I already posted the second one: To Die A Hero.) The class was in the English Department. Since my schedule never allowed me to the take the screenwriting class in my Mass Communications major, these were my only true fiction writing assignments at the University. In retrospect, I wish I had taken more writing classes. At the time I needed the discipline of a class deadline to finish a project. Most of my juvenile writings were left uncompleted.
I forgot the specific parameters of this short assignment. Most of my fellow students wrote thoughtful, introspective pieces. Not me. This short story reflects my obsession with my favorite filmmaker at the time: Zombiemeister George A. Romero. Dr. Behm read our stories aloud to the class. Mine was the last one he read. Here it is, with very few alterations...
I forgot the specific parameters of this short assignment. Most of my fellow students wrote thoughtful, introspective pieces. Not me. This short story reflects my obsession with my favorite filmmaker at the time: Zombiemeister George A. Romero. Dr. Behm read our stories aloud to the class. Mine was the last one he read. Here it is, with very few alterations...
THE INTRUDERS
The old blue station wagon, sputtering and coughing loudly through the rusty exhaust system, drove slowly down the cracked asphalt. The sound of the car, echoing off the empty houses which lined both sides of the street, was the only thing the four passengers heard as they gazed intently into the deep shadows created by the full-bodied trees standing in the lawns.
It was quiet, too damned quiet, Bill thought as he watched the parade of empty houses and overgrown lawns. The young man was becoming more and more depressed as each deserted residence, some of which still had bikes and toys visible through the tall seeding grass, passed before him. The view made it too easy to imagine how the neighborhood must have looked a summer ago. He could see the neighborhood alive with children running and playing in the once well-manicured lawns. He could see senior citizens walking their dogs and digging in their gardens. It was an uncomfortable image. Thinking about the past only made the present more unbearable.
"Keep an eye on those doors and windows," Tony advised in his usual pleasant tone which belied the seriousness of the mission as he lazily steered the old Pontiac. "If they went into the houses, the sound of this wreck should bring' em out."
"Damn," Alex spat. "If they went into the houses, we could be here all day."
"Start blowing the horn, that should bring 'em out," Tom added without taking his eyes from his side of the street. ''Alex is right, a house-to-house search will take all day."
Tony pressed the horn once, twice, three times. The manner in which Tony gleefully pressed it reminded Bill of the manner in which a child yells come out, come out, where ever you are. Bill unconsciously shifted in his seat as the sound of the horn rang in his ears. Strangely, the sound reassured him. It was as if the arrogant noise proved that a man could still stand up and make his presence known.
The car passed through an intersection, without stopping at the stop sign, and began to glide around a gentle curve. Tony was the first to see the intruders. "There they are!" he exclaimed as he slammed on the brakes.
For what seemed an eternity to Bill, the four men sat in silence and studied the deadly threat they had been instructed to eliminate. The four diseased creatures had been spotted earlier by the unarmed scavengers were walking towards them. The deceptively clumsy gait of the intruders, two teenaged boys, a middle-age man, and an old woman, quickened as their expressionless eyes caught sight of the car. They were half a block away, moving in more or less a group, towards the car.
"They're pretty close together," Alex said, breaking the silence. "Let's just run 'em down."
Tony watched the figures approach slowly up the street a moment before he answered. "Nah, that's taking the easy way out. Let's show our trainee how a professional handles a situation like this. Ready for action, Billy Boy?"
Bill met Tony's eyes in the rearview mirror as he nodded yes without any enthusiasm. At the same moment, Tom nudged Bill with his elbow and said, "Cheer up killer, this can't be your first time. And maybe Tony will give us one of his Oscar winning performances."
The three buddies began to chuckle lightly. Bill began to smile, though he did not know the reason why.
"Okay," Tony said with a smile as he turned off the car. "The curtain is rising gentlemen, let us get on stage."
The four heavily armed men got out of the car as quickly as their bulky equipment allowed. After leaving the car, Bill began to reach in to get his rifle when a hand gently grabbed his arm. "You won't be needing that," Tony said. "I'll show you how to handle a situation like this without wasting ammo."
"Going to take 'em all Ton?" Alex asked as he eyed the approaching intruders.
"Sure," Tony answered as he turned to the approaching creatures. "Never underestimate those things, Bill, after all, they destroyed our world. But we are faster, and that's our competitive edge."
"Don't give them a chance to get lucky," Tom advised seriously as he walked towards the front of the car.
"Don't worry Tommy, Laurel and Hardy haven't failed me yet," Tony said as he pulled the two long, heavy machetes from the sheaths on his sides.
''Hell, with a back-up team like us, how can you lose?" Alex replied as he lit a cigarette and parked his rear end on the hood of the car. "You know I won't let the bastards get your scrawny ass." With that, he tossed away the match and pulled out the .357 magnum pistol he kept in his belt and placed it on his lap.
Turning to Bill again, Tony said, "I'll take the first one the easy way, than do the others the best I can." Immediately Tony turned, gave out a loud cry, and charged full speed towards the closest of the creatures.
Tony held the blade in his left hand poised high over his shoulders. He ran directly toward the outstretched arms of the tall, lanky teenager. He was practically within the grasp of the creature when he made a lightening quick jump to the right and stepped behind the thing. Before the creature could turn it's head, Tony's heavy blade ripped through it's neck with one hard, swift slice. The head, flipping upwards and backwards, hit the street after the rest of the body.
Tony could not watch the result of his handiwork. As his blade was beheading the first creature, his mind was entirely on his next target, the old woman. The old woman, naked except for a ripped, white blouse which only barely covered her grayish-white, wrinkled skin, was four feet away from him and ready to lunge. "A cripple!"Tony yelled at the top of his lungs as he adjusted his balance and readied his right arm.
Tony again waited until he was just within the creature's grasp before he jumped, this time to the left. Tony's blade dug savagely and sharply into the area behind the woman's knee cap. Bill could hear the knee cap pop as Tony leapt up, knocking the woman to the ground with the force of his shoulder against her side. The old woman lay squirming on the ground, unable to stand because of the condition of her shattered but unsevered leg, as Tony moved to engage the next intruder.
Bill quickly switched his eyes from the crippled thing to Tony, who was about to make contact with the other teenaged boy. For a second Bill was sure that the warrior was about to ram into the creature, but Tony stopped quickly and made a quick backwards jump. Striking with the reflexes of a snake, the machete in Tony's left hand lashed and severed the creature's right hand at the wrist.
"Look Mom, no hands!" he yelled as the blade in his other hand shot out and severed the creature's other hand.
The mutilated boy pulled back it's arms as Tony paused for a split-second and looked into the dumb, unfeeling face of the creature. Tony quickly resumed his work and severed the head of the intruder with a sideways swipe of his machete.
Tony quickly turned and switched his attention to the last standing creature, which was approaching undaunted by the demise of it's companions.
"I want you to watch this Bill," he yelled as the middle-aged man approached him.
When the creature was within the range of Tony's bloody blades, the warrior crouched and shot out his left blade. It dug deeply into the palm of the creature's hand before he withdrew the blade. Stepping backwards to counter the forward step of the intruder, Tony once again crouched and shot his blade forward, tearing into the grayish-white flesh of the creature's forearm. Bill watched in horror as Tony repeated the pattern again and again.
It was not long before the hands and arms of the creature were reduced to shredded, bloody stubs. Repeated jabs to the chest and stomach also opened horrible, gapping wounds. What shocked Bill even more was the fact that the creature never retreated or showed pain. It continued to advance hungrily towards Tony.
Tiring of his butchery, with a loud cry Tony stepped forward and chopped the head off of the mutilated creature. With the intruder lying on the street, Tony, and his three companions turned their attention to the old woman who was dragging herself hungrily toward the two men sitting on the hood of the car. Eyeing the diseased creature, the two men lifted their feet and settled them on the bumper. Neither of the men brought their hands to their weapons as they first glanced at the woman before turning back to Tony.
Tony, brandishing his ever present smile, walked over to the crawling creature. Tony positioned himself behind and above it, his legs spread wide over the midsection of the creature which was concentrating too intently on the men on the car to notice. Tony winked at Bill before he dropped the blade in this right hand, grabbed the handle of the other machete with both hands and brought it down with all of his might on the creature's head. Driving into the center of the skull, the blade cut the head in half. Without removing the blade, Tony straightened up. He looked to his companions and bowed. Alex and Tom applauded.
Bill did not applaud. Tony was good, he was really good, but the performance disgusted Bill more than it impressed him. Tony was brave, almost to the point of being foolhardy, but he seemed to enjoy the killing too much. Butchery for the sake of butchery appalled Bill. He knew that the creatures had to be destroyed, but they deserved at least a little dignity. They were human once.
"I'll get the gasoline," Bill said as he walked to the back of the station wagon.
Tom joined him saying, ''Tony's the best."
"Yeah," Bill answered as he turned to Tom. "But he enjoys it too much, it isn't right."
''Sometimes," Tom answered in measured tones, "a person has to go a little crazy to keep from going mad."
It was quiet, too damned quiet, Bill thought as he watched the parade of empty houses and overgrown lawns. The young man was becoming more and more depressed as each deserted residence, some of which still had bikes and toys visible through the tall seeding grass, passed before him. The view made it too easy to imagine how the neighborhood must have looked a summer ago. He could see the neighborhood alive with children running and playing in the once well-manicured lawns. He could see senior citizens walking their dogs and digging in their gardens. It was an uncomfortable image. Thinking about the past only made the present more unbearable.
"Keep an eye on those doors and windows," Tony advised in his usual pleasant tone which belied the seriousness of the mission as he lazily steered the old Pontiac. "If they went into the houses, the sound of this wreck should bring' em out."
"Damn," Alex spat. "If they went into the houses, we could be here all day."
"Start blowing the horn, that should bring 'em out," Tom added without taking his eyes from his side of the street. ''Alex is right, a house-to-house search will take all day."
Tony pressed the horn once, twice, three times. The manner in which Tony gleefully pressed it reminded Bill of the manner in which a child yells come out, come out, where ever you are. Bill unconsciously shifted in his seat as the sound of the horn rang in his ears. Strangely, the sound reassured him. It was as if the arrogant noise proved that a man could still stand up and make his presence known.
The car passed through an intersection, without stopping at the stop sign, and began to glide around a gentle curve. Tony was the first to see the intruders. "There they are!" he exclaimed as he slammed on the brakes.
For what seemed an eternity to Bill, the four men sat in silence and studied the deadly threat they had been instructed to eliminate. The four diseased creatures had been spotted earlier by the unarmed scavengers were walking towards them. The deceptively clumsy gait of the intruders, two teenaged boys, a middle-age man, and an old woman, quickened as their expressionless eyes caught sight of the car. They were half a block away, moving in more or less a group, towards the car.
"They're pretty close together," Alex said, breaking the silence. "Let's just run 'em down."
Tony watched the figures approach slowly up the street a moment before he answered. "Nah, that's taking the easy way out. Let's show our trainee how a professional handles a situation like this. Ready for action, Billy Boy?"
Bill met Tony's eyes in the rearview mirror as he nodded yes without any enthusiasm. At the same moment, Tom nudged Bill with his elbow and said, "Cheer up killer, this can't be your first time. And maybe Tony will give us one of his Oscar winning performances."
The three buddies began to chuckle lightly. Bill began to smile, though he did not know the reason why.
"Okay," Tony said with a smile as he turned off the car. "The curtain is rising gentlemen, let us get on stage."
The four heavily armed men got out of the car as quickly as their bulky equipment allowed. After leaving the car, Bill began to reach in to get his rifle when a hand gently grabbed his arm. "You won't be needing that," Tony said. "I'll show you how to handle a situation like this without wasting ammo."
"Going to take 'em all Ton?" Alex asked as he eyed the approaching intruders.
"Sure," Tony answered as he turned to the approaching creatures. "Never underestimate those things, Bill, after all, they destroyed our world. But we are faster, and that's our competitive edge."
"Don't give them a chance to get lucky," Tom advised seriously as he walked towards the front of the car.
"Don't worry Tommy, Laurel and Hardy haven't failed me yet," Tony said as he pulled the two long, heavy machetes from the sheaths on his sides.
''Hell, with a back-up team like us, how can you lose?" Alex replied as he lit a cigarette and parked his rear end on the hood of the car. "You know I won't let the bastards get your scrawny ass." With that, he tossed away the match and pulled out the .357 magnum pistol he kept in his belt and placed it on his lap.
Turning to Bill again, Tony said, "I'll take the first one the easy way, than do the others the best I can." Immediately Tony turned, gave out a loud cry, and charged full speed towards the closest of the creatures.
Tony held the blade in his left hand poised high over his shoulders. He ran directly toward the outstretched arms of the tall, lanky teenager. He was practically within the grasp of the creature when he made a lightening quick jump to the right and stepped behind the thing. Before the creature could turn it's head, Tony's heavy blade ripped through it's neck with one hard, swift slice. The head, flipping upwards and backwards, hit the street after the rest of the body.
Tony could not watch the result of his handiwork. As his blade was beheading the first creature, his mind was entirely on his next target, the old woman. The old woman, naked except for a ripped, white blouse which only barely covered her grayish-white, wrinkled skin, was four feet away from him and ready to lunge. "A cripple!"Tony yelled at the top of his lungs as he adjusted his balance and readied his right arm.
Tony again waited until he was just within the creature's grasp before he jumped, this time to the left. Tony's blade dug savagely and sharply into the area behind the woman's knee cap. Bill could hear the knee cap pop as Tony leapt up, knocking the woman to the ground with the force of his shoulder against her side. The old woman lay squirming on the ground, unable to stand because of the condition of her shattered but unsevered leg, as Tony moved to engage the next intruder.
Bill quickly switched his eyes from the crippled thing to Tony, who was about to make contact with the other teenaged boy. For a second Bill was sure that the warrior was about to ram into the creature, but Tony stopped quickly and made a quick backwards jump. Striking with the reflexes of a snake, the machete in Tony's left hand lashed and severed the creature's right hand at the wrist.
"Look Mom, no hands!" he yelled as the blade in his other hand shot out and severed the creature's other hand.
The mutilated boy pulled back it's arms as Tony paused for a split-second and looked into the dumb, unfeeling face of the creature. Tony quickly resumed his work and severed the head of the intruder with a sideways swipe of his machete.
Tony quickly turned and switched his attention to the last standing creature, which was approaching undaunted by the demise of it's companions.
"I want you to watch this Bill," he yelled as the middle-aged man approached him.
When the creature was within the range of Tony's bloody blades, the warrior crouched and shot out his left blade. It dug deeply into the palm of the creature's hand before he withdrew the blade. Stepping backwards to counter the forward step of the intruder, Tony once again crouched and shot his blade forward, tearing into the grayish-white flesh of the creature's forearm. Bill watched in horror as Tony repeated the pattern again and again.
It was not long before the hands and arms of the creature were reduced to shredded, bloody stubs. Repeated jabs to the chest and stomach also opened horrible, gapping wounds. What shocked Bill even more was the fact that the creature never retreated or showed pain. It continued to advance hungrily towards Tony.
Tiring of his butchery, with a loud cry Tony stepped forward and chopped the head off of the mutilated creature. With the intruder lying on the street, Tony, and his three companions turned their attention to the old woman who was dragging herself hungrily toward the two men sitting on the hood of the car. Eyeing the diseased creature, the two men lifted their feet and settled them on the bumper. Neither of the men brought their hands to their weapons as they first glanced at the woman before turning back to Tony.
Tony, brandishing his ever present smile, walked over to the crawling creature. Tony positioned himself behind and above it, his legs spread wide over the midsection of the creature which was concentrating too intently on the men on the car to notice. Tony winked at Bill before he dropped the blade in this right hand, grabbed the handle of the other machete with both hands and brought it down with all of his might on the creature's head. Driving into the center of the skull, the blade cut the head in half. Without removing the blade, Tony straightened up. He looked to his companions and bowed. Alex and Tom applauded.
Bill did not applaud. Tony was good, he was really good, but the performance disgusted Bill more than it impressed him. Tony was brave, almost to the point of being foolhardy, but he seemed to enjoy the killing too much. Butchery for the sake of butchery appalled Bill. He knew that the creatures had to be destroyed, but they deserved at least a little dignity. They were human once.
"I'll get the gasoline," Bill said as he walked to the back of the station wagon.
Tom joined him saying, ''Tony's the best."
"Yeah," Bill answered as he turned to Tom. "But he enjoys it too much, it isn't right."
''Sometimes," Tom answered in measured tones, "a person has to go a little crazy to keep from going mad."
The assignment was not graded, but here's what Dr. Behm wrote on the paper: "I only see incident here, and very little character development. There is nothing leading up to Bill's disgust at the end. As a consequence, the violence throughout seems gratuitous."
He was right, of course. Fortunately, he liked my subsequent papers better. However, one of my fellow students, a kindly senior citizen, attributed more depth to my work than perhaps it deserved. There had recently been a violent incident in Israel. She asked if I had written the story as a statement on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. I said yes, of course. But it wasn't. It was just an homage to the film Dawn of the Dead. Or so I thought at the time.
When I wrote this piece, I didn't consciously realize that I was on the brink of a major mental and spiritual breakdown as a result of my break-up with long time girlfriend. (See my memoir The Promise, or the Pros and Cons of Talking with God.) Previously, everything I had written was either humorous, or a satirical take on something I had read. My writings in this class started dark, and grew darker still. Although I never mailed Kathy this story, I sent her the two subsequent assignments, which earned me a worried call from her. She detected a suicidal tone in them. I was generally surprised by her reaction. I did not consider myself suicidal at all, but she could see down the road a little more clearly. I was on that path. I just didn't realize it at the time. (You can read more about that here: Quarter To Midnight.)
I guess I was going a little crazy but it wasn't preventing me from going mad....
When I wrote this piece, I didn't consciously realize that I was on the brink of a major mental and spiritual breakdown as a result of my break-up with long time girlfriend. (See my memoir The Promise, or the Pros and Cons of Talking with God.) Previously, everything I had written was either humorous, or a satirical take on something I had read. My writings in this class started dark, and grew darker still. Although I never mailed Kathy this story, I sent her the two subsequent assignments, which earned me a worried call from her. She detected a suicidal tone in them. I was generally surprised by her reaction. I did not consider myself suicidal at all, but she could see down the road a little more clearly. I was on that path. I just didn't realize it at the time. (You can read more about that here: Quarter To Midnight.)
I guess I was going a little crazy but it wasn't preventing me from going mad....
Prologue - My Mother
Chapter 1 - RestingPlace.com
Chapter 2 - Elisabetta
Chapter 3 - The Upload
Chapter 4 - The Kobayashi Maru
Chapter 5 - Gina
Chapter 6 - Tombstone Teri
Chapter 7 - The Holy Redeemer Lonely Hearts Club
Chapter 8 - A Mourner
Chapter 9 - War Is Declared
Chapter 10 - The Motorcycle
No comments:
Post a Comment