SeanPaulMurphyVille: Sean Paul Murphy: (Failed) Songwriter

Tuesday, September 12, 2023

Sean Paul Murphy: (Failed) Songwriter

I'm blessed. I believe I have succeeded in every creative endeavor to which I applied myself. Except as a songwriter.

I am (currently) a failed songwriter.

I knew I was never going to be a rock star. I am a mediocre player at best and my voice, which was previously terrible, is now completely shot. However, I always had a dream that one day a credible musician -- someone who charted -- would record one of my songs. I did come close. I once accepted a writing assignment for a western that was to star a very well-known country singer. I only took the job because I would have loved to have written a theme song for the film with the singer. Sadly, the project fell through. On another occasion, the lead singer and songwriter of a band I really love offered to produce a couple of tracks for me, but, in an utterly uncharacteristic display of modesty, I chickened out.

I guess it doesn't matter one way or another. I didn't write songs to sell them. To me, songwriting was therapy. I was inspired to play the guitar after watching two of my friends, Mike Lane and Ed Neenan, sing a bunch of Beatles songs late one night at a party. At the time, I was in the midst of a suicidal downward spiral after the breakup of a five year relationship. (Read my memoir: The Promise.) Watching every girl in the place gather around them as they played gave me hope. My mother had an acoustic guitar that was difficult to keep in tune because it had a warped neck, but I applied myself since I had nothing better to do. By the time I learned a few chords, I was writing songs. It was great therapy. I was able to pour out all of my longing, sorrow and anger in music.

The next thing I needed was a band. Fortunately, two of my friends, Jim Jackson and Mike Mazziott, and I were in the process of quitting a cult at the time (Amway) and still wanted to hang out. I suggested we form a band. I was already playing the guitar. Jim offered to play bass. Mike offered to sing. For a drummer, Mike recruited his high school age but surprisingly talented brother Nick Mazziott. (Nick could play the guitar better than me, play the bass better than Jim and sing better than Mike. He is now a trombonist for a symphony!)

Sean, Mike, Jim

The Atomic Enema was born. So why the angry name? First, it accurately reflected the level of talent of three quarters of the band. Secondly, before long Jim and Mike would soon join me on break-up highway. That led to a lot of angry macho posturing in both our original songs and the covers we played. Being in this band helped with my therapy. Now I could perform my songs, but, since I wasn't the singer, I didn't have to bear the psychological weight of the words. Everyone always assumes the singer writes the songs. Once, a girlfriend Mike brought around, asked me if Mike had written a certain song about her. I said yes, of course. She seemed pleased. That surprised me. I don't know why anyone would want to think any of those songs were written about them!

Well, for reference purposes only, here's my first clumsy attempt of songwriting. Pure heartbreak and angst from the spring of 1983.

LYING AWAKE

Words and Music By

Sean Paul Murphy

Chord Progression:

Verses: G/D/F/C/A - G/D/F/C/D

Chorus: F/C/G/C/A

Lying awake, thinking of you, so far away, what can I do?

Here I am, here all alone, waiting for you, to come back home.

CHORUS:

What can I say to make you understand? That I love you more than I can stand.

My days are empty since you went away. Oh how I wish that you could stay.

Love can be good, I know that it can. and that’s what I need to feel again.

The beat of your heart, the depth of your soul, to love you again is my only goal.

REPEAT CHORUS:

Lying awake, going insane, now that you’re gone, all I have is pain.

Send me a letter, give me all, ‘cause without you girl, I’m nothing at all.

REPEAT CHORUS:

Look at those simple chords! I know I wrote this song within a week or two of picking up the guitar. There was never a recording of the song for good reason, but here I am singing it:

That song pretty summed up the mournful, longing heartbreak side of me. My very next song took another approach entirely: Defiance and anger. Here it is:

MAYBE I WAS CRAZY

Words and Music By

Sean Paul Murphy

[C] Maybe I was [F] crazy – [C] crazy to [F] believe

[C] Maybe I was [F] lazy – [C] lazy and [F] naïve

[Em] But now [Am] I know [F] what I didn’t[G7] then

[Em] That all [Am] her loving [F] must come to an [G7] end

[F] Must come to an [G7] end

Maybe I was crazy – when I looked into her eyes

Maybe I was blinded – blinded to her lies

But now – I’ve learned – not to give her trust

Because – with her – heartbreak is a must

Heartbreak is a must

Maybe I was crazy – I know I wasn’t smart

Maybe I was foolish – foolish with my heart

But now my eyes are open – now I can see

That the woman – made a fool of me

Made a fool of me

Maybe I was crazy – crazy to believe

Maybe I was lazy – lazy and naïve

But now – I know – what I didn’t then

That all – her loving – must come to an end

Must come to an end

Here I am singing the song:

Well, that about sums up the ying and the yang of romantic break-ups: Sorrow and bitterness. It was easier to write the bitter songs, since the sorrowful ones required more emotional maturity and transparency. Being young and immature, I was only willing to expose myself so much....

About a month or two later, soon after we started the band, I wrote my anthem of false male break-up bravado: When You're Dead. I clearly remember it's beginning. We were practicing in the Mazziott basement. I was jumping up and down on their sofa strumming the guitar and the opening words came to me. I wrote the song the next day. (And, no, guys, this was not the time I was jumping on the sofa after stepping in a big pile of dog poop outside. That was later.)

WHEN YOU'RE DEAD

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

Chord Progression

A/F#m/E/D/A ‑ D/A/E/D/A + Variation at bridge

When you're dead‑ when you're dead

I'll be happy‑ when you're dead

When you're dead‑ when you're dead

I'll be happy‑ when you're dead

I don't mean‑ to make you cry

But listen baby‑ you're gonna die

I don't want you‑ to explain

'Cause pretty soon‑ you'll feel the pain

CHORUS:

You can't deny you made a fool of me

You broke my heart without pity

I warned you not to fool around

So now I've got to put you under the ground

When you're dead‑ when you're dead

I'll be happy‑ when you're dead

When you're dead‑ when you're dead

I'll be happy‑ when you're dead

Don't you know‑ I'm a nasty guy

I'm mean enough‑ to watch you die

I can't tell you‑ when it'll be

But I'll get you‑ just wait and see

REPEAT CHORUS:

BRIDGE:

When‑ you're‑ dead‑ dear‑ I won't even shed a tear

REFRAIN:

When you're dead‑ when you're dead

I'll be happy‑ when you're dead....

It is definitely my most memorable song. I'm not joking when I say that. Quite a few people who heard me play it once twenty, thirty or even nearly forty years ago remember it. When people who know me see me with a guitar in my hand, they ask me to play that song. I am always happy to oblige, despite the fact that I'm more sensitive now. I know the lyrics can be triggering for someone who experienced domestic violence, but, hey, I sing it with a smile.

Here I am singing a sensitive, folkie acoustic version of it:

I took piano lessons as a kid but never really progressed beyond sight reading. I never learned music theory. The world of music finally opened up to me when I bought the 1984 Elvis compilation album Rocker. (Mike was a big Elvis fan. He always wanted to sing Elvis songs.) That's when I discovered something: The songs were all the same!

I discovered that a few simple chord progressions formed the basis of thousands of songs. (The comedy troupe the Axis of Awesome did a great routine about that. Check it out HERE.) Once I learned the twelve-bar blues progression, and the prerequisite B7 chord, there was no looking back. In my then current state of mind, I could write a new blues song every day. Here's my favorite one from that period:

I'M WALKING

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

Traditional 12 Bar Blues Progression in E.

I want you baby‑ to understand

That you just lost your man

'Cause I'm walking‑ just walking away

I won't be back‑ no matter what you say

I warned you baby‑ to get off my back

But now you're lovin' man he isn't coming back

'Cause I'm walking‑ just walking away

I won't be back‑ no matter what you say

Now that I'm free‑ I want you to know

I got things to do and places to go

And I'm walking‑ just walking away

I won't be back‑ no matter what you say

Pretty girls‑ are everywhere

And I can bet you that I'll get my share

And I'm walking‑ just walking away

I won't be back‑ no matter what you say

My ambitions‑ can now come true

Now that I'm not hampered with you

'Cause I'm walking‑ just walking away

And I won't be back‑ no matter what you say

Yes, I rhymed back with back. That's what kind of guy I was! Here's The Atomic Enema playing the song live in the Mazziott basement on 11 May 1986:

This is actually my seconded most requested song. To prove it, here's someone asking me to sing it at a party while I was busy butchering a Beach Boys song:

Talk about all twelve-bar blues songs being the same....

When I posted this clip on YouTube I got a copyright hit. I thought it was because I was singing I Hear Music by the Beach Boys at the start of the clip. When I clicked on the violation, it wasn't about the Beach Boys song. They said I'm Walking stole the melody of a song called Tight Spot, which I had never heard. I disputed the copyright claim. I said I wrote the song in 1985 and sent them a clip of The Atomic Enema playing it in 1986. The label subsequently dropped the claim. (I hear that rarely happens!)

I'm actually quite proud of this next song. It's a 'fifties style up-tempo ballad. I thought it really captured the emotion I was striving to reach. Around the time I wrote it, I played it for a country songwriter I knew from the advertising business. (She had just gotten a song on a Conway Twitty album.) She said she really liked it. That was the first and last validation I got for my songwriting from a genuine professional.

THE SOUND OF A LONELY HEART

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

Verses: A/F#m/D/E7

Chorus: A/C#m/D/E7/A/E7

Three o'clock in the morning ‑ its too early for bed

With the thoughts I'm thinking ‑ running through my head

I try to turn my mind off ‑ I try with all my might

But all I ever end up with is ‑ another sleepless night

CHORUS:

Stop babe‑ can't you hear the sound of a lonely heart

Its been that way ever since we've been apart

Stop babe‑ can't you hear the sound of a lonely heart

It's been that way ever since we've been apart

I heard a song on the radio ‑ a song we listened to

And though I changed the channel ‑ my heart went out to you

So many songs have different meanings ever since you closed the door

Now there are so many songs I can't listen to no more

REPEAT CHORUS:

Late at night I miss the warmth of your soft embrace

Something is now missing ‑ something's out of place

I wish that I could call you ‑ just to share a word or two

But you left me here all alone ‑ there ain't nothing I can do

REPEAT CHORUS:

I couldn't find an adequate recording so here I am:

Here's another song from the same period which reflected my ongoing depression. Once again, song writing as therapy. It proved a way to express feeling I wouldn't necessarily discuss in a conversation.

THE VOID

Words and Music By

Sean Paul Murphy

Inside I feel an emptiness – a void I cannot hide

Inside I feel a hunger – a need I can’t deny

I can mask it with a smile – when the sun is burning bright

But emptiness engulfs me – when I’m alone at night

I thought that in your arms – that I could find my rest

But the love we shared was flawed – it failed to pass the test

Selfishness and frailties – on both of our parts

Snatched away the happiness – there was in my heart

I search through all the pleasures that the world has to give

But it left me with a life that I didn’t want to live

There must be something more that I have yet to try

There must be something more than living ‘til you die

I thought that in your arms – that I could find my rest

But the love we shared was flawed – it failed to pass the test

Selfishness and frailties – on both of our parts

Snatched away the happiness – there was in my heart

Here I am singing the song. It was a rocker, but my voice couldn't handle it as originally intended so it is a little mellower.

This next song also originated in Mazziott basement. We were waiting for Nick, who was running late because he was practicing for a folk mass at Archbishop Curley High School. He came home with this great chord progression for one of the songs they were learning. He showed it to me, and I loved it. The wrote the words the next day.

Nick, Mike Sean, Jim

TELL ME

Words and Music By

Sean Paul Murphy and Nicholas Mazziott

Chord Progression

D/Gbm7/D7/G/Em/A7/D + HALF STEP INCREASE

We both ‑ have reasons ‑ to walk away ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?

Why should we struggle ‑ another day ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?

Tell me why I should ‑ remain true ‑ tell me ‑ what should I do?

But where could I find someone ‑ as special as you ‑ tell me ‑ what should I do?

But you gave me something ‑ that you can't deny‑ should we ‑ let it die?

Sometimes I see it ‑ still in your eyes ‑ should we ‑ let it die?

We both have reasons ‑ to walk away ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?

Why should we struggle ‑ another day ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?

Maybe things aren't as hopeless ‑ as they seem today ‑ tell me ‑ what do you say?

Does love have the power ‑ to wash pain away ‑ tell me ‑ what do you say.

Well, my love ‑ what do you say?

I played the song to the guys the next week. The response was silence. Finally, Jim said, "Sean, that's a really good song. We can't do that. Maybe you should get in another band." Nonsense! The whole point of the band was to hang out with my friends. We were all growing together.

Still... At the time a radio station, 98 Rock, was put out a request for local songs for an album they were doing. We decided to try to record Tell Me. Jim worked at an advertising agency where he met a guy who offered to produce us. He listened to the song. He liked the song, but thought it was missing something and suggested me do a key change for the last verse. (That was our first.) We all learned our parts. Then we recorded it in the basement studio of another one of Jim's co-workers, Tommy Tate, who also added keyboards. We spent all night getting the instrumental parts perfect, then we ran out of time. Mike only had one take to record the vocals, and, let's just say the result wasn't John Lennon one-taking Twist and Shout.

One of our basement hootenanies

Oh well. I think I have a cassette of the song somewhere around here, but no digital recording. Here's my wife Deborah singing it, with Nick on the bass and yours truly on the guitar.

By the way, the producer was right. The song was missing something. Subsequent to that recording, I added a bridge inspired by an old Gospel blues song. I think it's much better now.

TELL ME 2.0

Words and Music By

Sean Paul Murphy & Nicholas Mazziott

We both ‑ have reasons ‑ to walk away ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?

Why should we struggle ‑ another day ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?

Tell me why I should ‑ remain true ‑ tell me ‑ what should I do?

But where could I find someone ‑ as special as you ‑ tell me ‑ what should I do?

But you gave me something ‑ that you can't deny‑ should we ‑ let it die?

Sometimes I see it ‑ still in your eyes ‑ should we ‑ let it die?

Bridge:

[G] Dark was the [A] night, [G] cold was the [A] ground

[Em] Blind now I [A] stumble, [G] when you’re not [D] around

We both have reasons ‑ to walk away ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?

Why should we struggle ‑ another day ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?

Maybe things aren't as hopeless ‑ as they seem today ‑ tell me ‑ what do you say

Does love have the power ‑ to wash pain away ‑ tell me ‑ what do you say.

Well, my love ‑ what do you say?

Here I am singing it:

BTW, around this time we briefly changed the name of the band to The New Catholics because we didn't think anyone would take a band called The Atomic Enema seriously. We changed it back because, well, who wouldn't want to be in a band called The Atomic Enema?

I wasn't the only songwriter in the group. Bassist Jim Jackson also wrote. Here's a song I helped him with:

WILL YOU BRING YOUR LOVE AROUND?

Words and Music by

Jim Jackson and Sean Paul Murphy

What do you think‑ you don't seem to care

You acted like I wasn't there

Tell me baby‑ what do I lack

'Cause I just may want you back

CHORUS:

What is that you want from me

can't you see how you're treating me?

Now that you have brought me down

Will you bring your love around?

Baby you leave me‑ all alone

I can't even get you on the phone

Is this now‑ the final break

Is it time to hold the wake

REPEAT CHORUS:

Decision time‑ is here

It's time to face our fears

Time to abandon‑ all of the lies

If our love is worth a try

REPEAT CHORUS:

What you sow‑ is what you reap

And I'm not sure our love will keep

The time has come‑ to make a stand

'Cause I've done all I can

REPEAT CHORUS:

Here we are performing it:

The song was very punk. In retrospect, that's a route I wish we had taken. I think we had the skills necessary to be an angry punk band. We certainly had the name for it!

Rick Parker, Mark Elmore, Yours Truly, David Butler
playing the main ballroom at the Trump Plaza
Hotel and Casino back in the 1980s.

Of course, I kept writing blues songs. Here's one of my favorites. It's a little more musically sophisticated, but every bit as bitter and self-pitying as I'm Walking.

COLD AS STEEL

Words and Music By

Sean Paul Murphy

Traditional 12-Bar Blues in E.

My baby's got a knife ‑ she uses it with ease

Just a twist of her wrist and she brings me to my knees

Baby likes to smile ‑ when she makes me groan

'Cause with that knife of her's she cuts me to the bone

And she's cold - Cold to feel - She's cold as steel

Give her lots of money ‑ all I can provide

But something about that girl of mine she makes me want to hide

My baby she's too mean ‑ she doesn't treat me nice

And anytime I complain my heart she starts to slice

And she's cold - Cold to feel - She's cold as steel

Baby likes to rip ‑ baby likes to tear

And that ain't the kind of life I thought that we would share

How I fell in love ‑ I will never know

But now I see that girl of mine I've got to make her go

'Cause she's cold - Cold to feel - She's cold as steel

Here's Deborah, Nick and myself playing it:

This is a pretty little song I wrote after learning the Travis strum finger-picking style. Here's the lyrics.

TIME CAN'T TAKE IT AWAY

Words and Music By

Sean Paul Murphy

Chord Progression

Ga9/Ca9/Ga9/Em/C/D/Ga9 ‑ Bm/Em/Bm/Em/C/Am/D/D7

Once the horizon appeared so bright but darkness filled the sky

Once my days were filled with light before you said goodbye

CHORUS:

Love can be gone and know that's true but still my thoughts are of you

and time can't change the way I feel about the time I shared with you

I saw the sun fall out of the sky never again to shine

And against all odds I know I'll have to try to again make you mine

REPEAT CHORUS:

The stars and heavens fell from above as the earth seemed to pass away

That's how I feel when I think about love a love that couldn't stay

REPEAT CHORUS:

With the winter wind there came a chill that cut me to the bone

But the winter wind just can't compare to the feeling of being alone

REPEAT CHORUS:

Time can't change the way I feel, no time can't take it away

I'm a little too sloppy to play and sing it at the same time, so I had to double track myself. Here it is:

Here's another melancholy song I wrote but I don't think that I even presented it to the band. By then Jim and Mike had both married, and I don't think they wanted to keep singing about my ex. Still, I had a few more songs about her in me.

MAYBE ONE DAY

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

I… loved a girl, loved a girl

But now she’s gone, now she’s gone

Where… did she go, did she go?

The girl I loved, where did she go?

Maybe one day, she’ll remember

All the love that we shared

And maybe the day, she remembers

Maybe that day, she’ll care…. she'll care....

I… miss you girl, miss you girl

What did I do, girl, what did I do?

Come… back to me, back to me

I love you, girl, can you come back to me?

You know I can’t live without you

I never guessed I’d have to try

You took my heart my soul my feelings

You left me cold and dead inside – I'm dead inside

I… need you, girl, need you girl

Without you, girl, there’s nothing in my world

Come… home to me, home to me

I’m here a-waiting, girl, come home to me

Maybe one day, you’ll remember

All the love that we shared

And maybe the day, you remember

Maybe that day, you’ll care…. I hope you care

Eventually, I matured a bit. I accepted my romantic loss and wished my ex the best. The following song exemplified that attitude. Musically, it is much more sophisticated. I even used the "chord cliche."

KATHERINE, OH KATHERINE

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

[A] Katherine, Oh [Cmaj7] Katherine

[A7] Can’t you see?

[Dadd9] The love you left [Dadd9m] behind in me

Oh [A] Katherine, Oh [Cmaj7] Katherine

[A7] We’ve felt the pain

[Dadd9] Does anything [Dadd9m] else remain?

[A] Katherine, [E] oh Katherine [A] Blue-eyed girl

[F#m] I feel in love with you on our first [A] kiss

[E] Everything about you, girl, I [A] miss

[F#m] Although now I wish you all the [A] best

[C#m] Sometimes still I [Bm] wish I passed [A] the test

Katherine, oh Katherine

So far away

Did you think of me today?

Oh Katherine, oh Katherine

Did it cross your mind?

The life you left here behind?

Katherine, oh Katherine, blue-eyed girl

[F#m] I feel in love with you on our first [A] kiss

[E] Everything about you, girl, I [A] miss

[F#m] Although now I wish you all the [A] best

[C#m] Sometimes still I [Bm] wish I passed [A] the test

Katherine, oh Katherine

Enjoy your life

Even if you aren’t my wife

Oh Katherine, oh Katherine

My heart’s still true

I still have time for a friend like you

Katherine, Oh Katherine, my blue eyed girl

Here I am singing it:

As the eighties wound to a close, and my bandmates got married and had children, I felt little need to write anymore songs. However, when I finally starting dating again in the nineties, the need to write songs re-emerged. The songs, most of which began as poems, served as a diary of my romantic ups-and-downs. I'll discuss that in my next blog in this series.

Now that I am a happily married man, I write few songs. Instead, I turn my attention to longer form writing like screenplays or novels. However, one tragedy made me take out my guitar again. While my wife Deborah headed to her job at the National Institutes of Health, she received a phone call telling her that her Uncle Sonny was about to die. I wrote this homage to our loved ones who passed on that night. Deb and I recorded it the next morning.

THE WASH OF TIME

Words and Music By

Sean Paul Murphy

[G] The wash of time breaks rock into sand

[C] The wash of time does the same thing to a [G] man

[D] The Wash of time. [C] The wash of time. [G] The wash of time.

The wash of time turned my brown hair into gray.

The wash of time takes a little more every day.

The wash of time. The wash of time. The wash of time.

The wash of time turns babies into dust.

The wash of time it comes for all of us.

The wash of time,. The wash of time. The wash of time.

[D] You can’t run away. [C] cause each and every day is the wash of [G] time.

The wash of time took my granddad and his son.

The wash of time for me it now will come

The Wash of time. The wash of time. The wash of time.

[D] You can’t run away. [C] cause each and every day is the wash of [G] time.

The wash of time leaves lovers on their own.

The wash of time leaves us cold and alone.

The wash of time. The wash of time. The wash of time.

[D] You can’t run away. [C] cause each and every day is the wash of [G] time.

Here we are singing it:

I still write songs. Lately I have been obsessed with story songs, especially ones that break with the traditional verse/chorus format. Here's one I wrote inspired by my favorite novel Moby Dick. The book covers many themes I have attempted to tackle myself. I thought it would make a great song, and here it is:

ISHMAEL

Words and Music By

Sean Paul Murphy

[C] My name is Ishmael

[G] And I longed to go to sea

[F] On a sturdy whaling ship

[Am] Trimmed with [G] Ivory

[C] My only friend was the harpooner

[Am] Queequeg was his name

[G] He’d said we’d sail together

[F] Our fate would be the same

[F] But it wasn’t [C] true

No it wasn’t [G] true

[F] Fate had other things in store

It had [C] other things to do

So it wasn’t [G] true

No it wasn’t [C] true

[C] The Captain he was Ahab

[G] His leg was made of wood

[F] The white whale took the fleshy one

[Am] And in hatred he now [G] stood

[C] He planned to sail the seven seas

[Am] In search of the whale

[G] But did he know his journey

[F] Would take us all to hell

[F] Yes, I think he [C] knew

Yes, I think he [G] knew

[F] He charted us a deadly course

Where our [C] lives were due

Yes I think he [G] knew

Yes I think he [C] knew

[C] Queequeg was a pagan chief

[G] In land long left behind

[F] But late one night he had a dream

[Am] Of the death that he would [G] find

[C] He bade to the carpenter

[Am] That a coffin for him make

[G] And to seal it against the water

[F] For the journey that he’d take

[F] He dreamed he’d [C] die

He dreamed he’d [G] die

[F] He had a lonely pagan vision

That he [C] could not dare deny

He dreamed he’d [G] die

Oh yes he’d [C] die

[C] Across the endless oceans

[G] We hurried to our fate

[F] Until finally we reached the place

[Am] Where the whale did [G] wait

[C] White as snow and old as sin

[Am] Like a tidal wave he loomed

[G] As we set out in our boats

[F] Our hearts were filled with gloom

[F] ‘Cause the time had [C] come

Yes, the time had [G] come

[F] Fate had picked this hour

There was [C] no escaping from

Had my time [G] come?

Seemed my time [C] come.

[C] I had no wife or children

[G] To tie me to the shore

[F] No one there to mourn me

[Am] If I came home no [G] more

[C] We work and struggle every day

[Am] And we try to mend our ways

[G] But will any of it matter

[F] When we sink beneath the waves

[F} ‘Cause we all must [C] die

yes we all must [G] die

[F] But is there anyone a-watching

Is there [C] anyone who’ll cry

Cause we all must [G] die

Yes we all must [C] die

[C] Harpoons flew and ropes entwined

[G] In his hatred Ahab died

[F] Strapped upon that demon’s back

[Am] He forever [G] rides

[C] Then one by one we followed him

[Am] Mere playthings to the whale

[G] But I alone was the only one

[F] Who lived to tell the tale

[F] Only I sur-[C]-vived

Yes, only I sur-[G]-vived

[F] Afloat on Queequeg’s coffin

I often [C] wondered why

Only I sur-[G]-vived

Only I sur-[C]-vived

Here I am singing the song.

For a number of years I played in the praise and worship band at Stillmeadow Community Fellowship, first on guitar and later on the bass. I did write a praise song or two but I never submitted them to the group. That felt like ego to me. I didn't want the music to be about me or my personal experience.

I have plenty more songs, but I think I've given you enough evidence to evaluate my songwriting journey. Although I've never achieved my goal of having a song recorded by a charted artist, I did write at least one song that the people who heard found memorable. That's something, it's it?

Most importantly, I had a blast doing it. There's a certain comradery you feel when you make music with people, especially when you're working on original compositions. I wanted to thank everyone I played with or who inspired me. Music has been a constant pleasure for me, so I guess I'm not a failed songwriter after all.

The Atomic Enema 2009
Mike, Jim, Nick, Sean

I want to end this blog with the final performance of the original members of The Atomic Enema in September of 2010.

I am planning a follow-up blog with more songs. Keep an eye out for it.

Here's some music videos I worked on:

Big Pun: Twinz (Deep Cover 98)

Crack The Sky: Mr. President
Greg Kihn: Horror Show
Nils Lofgren: Alone

Face Dancer: Red Shoes

The Sunday Cannons: Friends Become Flowers

More personal musings:

Me, Post Death

My Premature Memorial Video

Meeting The Love of My Life

My Wedding 09.30.2000

Personal Letter, or, Love in the Time of Texts

Death of an Amway God

Religion & Politics: An Uneasy Mix

The Most Important Election of Our Lifetime

God Told Me to Write It

Prince and the Nexus of Music and Memory

Surviving The Year of Death

The Ultimate Wedding Extravaganza

Sean Paul Murphy: (Failed) Songwriter

Sean Paul Murphy: (Failed) Songwriter, Pt. 2

Other early writings:

Short Story: Christmas

Short Story: The Intruders

Short Story: To Die A Hero
Short Film: The Lunch
The Three Stooges: An Analysis
Recent Horror Films: An Analysis

My Life - My 4th Grade Autobiography

My Poetry, or, The Sorrow and The Self-Pity

Sean Paul Murphy: (Failed) Songwriter

Sean Paul Murphy: (Failed) Songwriter, Pt. 2

Be sure to check out my memoir The Promise, or the Pros and Cons of Talking with God, published by TouchPoint Press. It is my true story of first faith and first love and how the two became almost fatally intertwined.

Here are some sample chapters of The Promise:

Chapter 1 - A Photograph

Chapter 2 - My Death

Chapter 3 - Childhood

Chapter 4 - Saved!

Chapter 5 - The Promise

Chapter 6 - The Mission

Chapter 7 - Mission Accomplished
Chapter 15 - Quarter To Midnight

Be sure to check out my novel Chapel Street. It tells the story of a young man straddling the line between sanity and madness while battling a demonic entity that has driven his family members to suicide for generations. It was inspired by an actual haunting my family experienced.

You can buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & Noble.

Learn more about the book, click Here.

Watch the book trailer: