The curse is broken. I am happy to report that I survived the year of death.
My father, Douglas Ernest Murphy, Sr., and both of my grandfathers, Paul James Murphy, Sr. and Kenneth Joseph Protani, all died at the age of 61. It was a coincidence, of course. It wasn't like they were all the same age at the same time riding in a bus together that careened off the side of a cliff. However, if you've been reading this blog with any consistency, you will know that I am somewhat fanatical about genealogy. To me, a family tree isn't just a list of names and dates. I have always endeavored to learn as much about my extended family as possible. Over the years I have seen enough trends in family dynamics to observe genetics at work. I am not saying that genetics dictate destiny, but only a fool would ignore them.
Therefore, I was a little unnerved when I reached the age of 61. Was my internal clock inexorably running down? Or would I survive where they perished? I remember discussing this concern with one of my father's brothers a few years ago. He told me not to worry about it. He said my father and his father made lifestyle choices which adversely affected their lifespan. My response was: "Have you looked at me lately?"
For my siblings and myself, getting past our thirties proved to be a real problem. I came within seconds of killing myself in my early twenties. You can read about that Here. My sister Laura died in 1994 at the age of 31, and my brother Mark died in 1999 at the age of 35. My grandfather Kenny had a second family of three children after he and my grandmother parted. I had two aunts and an uncle. Only one of them remains. My uncle Gino died in 1998 at the age of 39 and my aunt Candie died in 2005 at the age of 59. The death of my uncle Gino, whom I never met, inspired my interest in genealogy.
 |
| Me, Post Death |
If those deaths weren't enough to stimulate my mortal concerns, I also had the misfortune of dying on the operating table during a routine biopsy. Fortunately, the medical team was able to bring me back. That was an eye-opening experience. It happened on 10 August 2011. You can read about it Here. I was so grateful to have been given more time that I wanted to celebrate my birthday on the tenth of August thereafter, but my mother was not amused by that idea. My brush with mortality also convinced me that I had stories that needed to be told which resulted in my memoir The Promise, or the Pros and Cons of Talking with God. I would have never dreamed of writing such a painfully personal book had I not come so close to death.
And here I am now, passing another milestone.
I am very happy to be alive, but I am sad to have lost my father and grandfathers at such a young age. Of course, when they died, I didn't think they were young. They seemed old to me. I wonder if they felt old. I know I don't. I realize that I'm not young anymore, but I don't feel old either.
I feel sorriest for my father. I felt he was hurtling deliberately toward death since my sister died. I can't blame him. I don't know if I could survive the death of two children either. My grandfather Murphy left a big hole in my life as well. He was the undisputed patriarch of the family and full of life. I am certain I would have weathered the storms in my life better and enjoyed myself more if he had survived another decade or two. As for my grandfather Protani.... I never met him. However, had he lived longer, I am sure I would have sought him out. I did eventually make contact with his second family. I am curious how he would have received me. My grandmother's second husband, Robert Pollock, proved to be a kind and thoughtful grandfather. Still, I would have liked to have met Kenny.
I can't argue with the wisdom of Ecclesiastes, 7:2. “It is better to go to a house of mourning than go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.” I think it is difficult to fully appreciate the joys of life without contemplating the inevitability of death. It makes each moment richer.
Now I'm going to eat some birthday cake and enjoy my wife and family, but here's some videos for you.
I made this first video to play at my funeral when it looked like I was going to die. It was really the first draft of my memoir.
Here's a little tribute I edited for my father.
Here's a little song I wrote honoring lost members of my and my wife's family. Debbie is singing (with me).
More personal musings:
Please check out my memoir The Promise, or the Pros and Cons of Talking with God, published by TouchPoint Press. It is my true story of first faith and first love and how the two became almost fatally intertwined.
Here are some sample chapters of The Promise:
Here's a video trailer for the book:
Also be sure to check out my novel Chapel Street. It tells the story of a young man straddling the line between sanity and madness while battling a demonic entity that has driven his family members to suicide for generations. It was inspired by an actual haunting my family experienced. You can buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & Noble.
Listen to me read some chapters here:
Let's stay in touch:
Follow me on Twitter: SeanPaulMurphy
Follow me on Facebook: Sean Paul Murphy
Follow me on Instagram: Sean Paul Murphy
Subscribe on YouTube: Sean Paul Murphy
No comments:
Post a Comment