SeanPaulMurphyVille: Sean Paul Murphy: (Failed) Songwriter, Pt. 2

Thursday, January 25, 2024

Sean Paul Murphy: (Failed) Songwriter, Pt. 2

This is my second blog about my "career" as a songwriter. Check out Part 1 here: Sean Paul Murphy: (Failed) Songwriter

A friend of mine wrote a book. He gave me a copy and said, with pride, "That no one would learn anything about him by reading it." I found that attitude shocking. To me, it is antithetical to everything I believe as a writer. It's a busy world filled with many things to do. I think if someone is willing to read a book I wrote, they deserve everything I've got. I feel I must spill my blood on the page for them, both in effort and personal commitment. So far, all of my published work has been very personal and very real.

I wrote my memoir, The Promise, or the Pros and Cons of Talking with God, after a near death experience. I had previously been a very private person, emotionally, but I felt the need to tell my story, warts and all. I tried to be as emotionally transparent as possible with that book. One place I never had to worry about being emotionally transparent was in my songs.

To me, songwriting is a purely emotive form of writing -- at least to me. I don't remember writing many abstract songs outside of my own experience. I generally wrote about what I was feeling at the moment. I guess that's why I am writing these blogs -- as an addendum to my memoir.

The majority of the songs in part one dealt with the primary romantic relationship I discussed in my memoir. However, the emotions they displayed were colored by male bravado. I fully intended to perform anything I wrote during that period with my band. I knew the guys would reject anything too weepy or sentimental. I had to put on a harder shell.

The songs in this blog are more personal and vulnerable. Like the songs in part one, they were inspired by real people and real relationships. By the early nineties, I had started meeting women online on AOL. These songs were about them and for them. Each of these pieces had an intended audience of one. As a result, the songs tend to be very raw and honest. And immediate. Most of these songs are responses to something that happened the day I wrote them.

Most of these songs began simply as poems. That shouldn't be surprising. When I started on the Internet, it still took twenty minutes to download a single photo. It was much easier to send a poem in an email than record a song, upload it and hope your intended had the right program to play it. Text was much easier.

As I recorded these songs for this blog, I realized I had accomplished a musical goal of mine. When I was playing with my band, I dreamed of writing a song cycle about the life of a romantic relationship starting with the couple meeting, falling in love before ultimately breaking up. I never accomplished it. Because of my emotional state, I could write endless break-up songs, but I couldn't write the happy ones. These songs, taken in whole, managed to accomplish my goal! In a way, this blog might serve as an outline for my intended second memoir.

One way or another, all of the following were inspired by a personal ad I found on America Online. Actually, my old friend Bob Burgess found the ad first. He responded, and, obviously not afraid of the competition, said I should too! Here's the ad:

Subj: serenity.....

Date: 93-10-31 10:02:50 EST

From: Mandy1964

Hi, I am an attractive 37 year old lady who is looking for that attractive, sweet, exciting fellow to share my moonlight with..........My porch swing is empty now, and needs someone to share the joy, the sweetness of life, and many other good things that life has too offer.......I have MANY varied interests, hiking, listening to music, walks in the fields, holding hands, swimming, reading great novels, having pleasant weekends in Harper's Ferry browsing, just enjoying someone's company.

If you feel good about yourself, and want a special someone to share some happiness with, please write back..........Hurry before the moon goes down.

That sounded like heaven to me. I wrote her. I don't know if Bob ever got a response, but I did. Emails followed. Before long, Mandy sent a picture that encouraged me. Then I sent her a picture that didn't scare her off. Before long, we were sharing our deepest thoughts on long phone calls. Things were going so well, I began to fear that real life couldn't possibly live up to what we had already experienced. Hence this first song:

THE MOUNTAINTOP

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

[G] When you start on a mountaintop

[C] is there no way to go but down?

[D7] Must you trade the heights?

[C] for the boring [G] ground?

It takes a lot of faith to step onto a cloud

If you’re not careful, it’ll be your shroud

The heights can be frightening and the fall deadly steep

with one unwary step, you’ll lie a broken heap

But you can close your eyes step into the mist

and float on a cloud as soft as a kiss

No, not alone, you can't reach that goal

to heavy, I think, is a single soul

but two souls together, how can they miss?

by holding and lifting each other into bliss

I step from the mountain, my eyes fixed on you

Keep me from falling, please hold me true

For if I must fall, into your arms let it be

in joy and wonder, wrap them around me

Here I am singing the song:

We were fated to meet. Here's a song based on the poem I sent her before that fateful night:

THE CANVAS

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

[Gadd9]Tomorrow lies [Cadd9] before us

[Gadd9] Like a canvas made for [Cadd9] two

Our [Em] hopes supply the [Bm] colors

Our [Am] dreams will make it [D7] true

With a single brush we’ll paint

beauty beyond compare

of hopes beyond our sorrows

of the life that we can share

But [Bm] Don’t wake me [Em] now

[Bm] Not before the [G] dawn

[Em] This canvas must be [C] finished

Or [Am] forever [D7] gone

With shaky hands at first

we’ll paint our masterpiece

our vibrant colors singing

the song of sweet release

So [Bm] Don’t wake me [Em] now [Bm]

Not before the [G] dawn [Em]

This canvas must be [C] finished

Or [Am] forever [D7] gone

[Gadd9] Tomorrow lies [Cadd9] before us

[Gadd9] Like a canvas made for [Cadd9] two

I hope [Em] it’s not a [Bm] dream

I hope [Am] it all comes [D7] true

So [Bm] Don’t wake me [Em] now

[Bm] Not before the [G] dawn

[Em] This canvas must be [C] finished

Or [Am] forever [D7] gone

Here I am singing it:

How did that first meeting work out? Just look at the song I wrote the next day:

YOUR FIRST KISS

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

Your [A] first kiss, baby, held [D] a power beyond belief

it [A] sent me home trembling [E] like a falling leaf.

Our [A] first kiss, baby, made me [D] hunger for more

but [A] from your lips only, no [E] one else any [A] more

[D] You stole me away, some [A]where I didn’t know

but [E] with you there beside me [A] I fear not to go

[D] I’ll set down this road [A] reaching for your hand

[E] I know we’ll awaken [D] in the promised [A] land

Your first kiss, baby, took me somewhere new

and crowded out dreams of everyone but you,

Our first kiss, baby, raised me from the dead

It took away my sorrow, and brought joy instead

Here I am singing it:

More love poems/songs followed that joyous kiss, like this one, which she left captured her:

WILDFLOWER

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

[C]You are a [Am] wildflower, [F] sweet blossom of the [G] field

[C] worth every [Am] step to find for [F] the scent that you [G] yield

[Em] wildflower [Am] wildflower [F] reaching for the [G] sun

[Em] Wildflower [Am] Wildflower [F] Behold your day has [G] come

[C] you are a [Am] wildflower [F] swaying in the [G] breeze

[C] pink petals [Am] wet with dew [F] ready to [G] please

[Em] wildflower [Am] wildflower [F] reaching for the [G] sun

[Em] Wildflower [Am] Wildflower [F] Behold your day has [G] come

Bridge:

I [F] drink in your [G] nectar It [Em] dances on my [Am] tongue

The sweet [F] visions I [G] see as [Em] your fragrance fills my [Am] lungs

[F] wildflower [G]

[C]You are a [Am] wildflower, [F] sweet blossom of the [G] field

[C] worth every [Am] step to find for [F] the scent that you [G] yield

[Em] wildflower [Am] wildflower [F] reaching for the [G] sun

[Em] Wildflower [Am] Wildflower [F] Behold our day has [G] come

Here I am singing it:

Soon we experienced our first bump in the road. Mandy was divorced mother with two young boys. She said her ex-husband wanted to attempt a reconciliation. Being a good Christian boy, and a strong believer in marriage, I wholeheartedly supported her decision. But it still hurt.

I needed someone to talk too, and I sought that person where I originally met Andrea: On America Online. The shoulder I ultimately found to cry on belong to a thirty-year-old office manager in Florida named Tammy.

She was unlike any woman I had previously met. She was vivacious and uninhibited, but also thoughtful and compassionate. Most importantly, she was anchored with a down-to-earth genuineness. That's what I valued most.

Historically, I usually sought older or married woman in which to confide my romantic shortfalls. I always felt I could be emotionally transparent with such a woman without any fear of romantic involvement. That proved not to be the case with Tammy.

She was an incredible online flirt, and brought out the similar tendency in me. Despite the growing depth of our friendship, it was clear that romantic feelings were growing on both of our parts. Eventually, she flew up to Baltimore to meet me. Here's a song I wrote about meeting her at the airport.

FINALLY MEETING

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

Here we stand - hand in lovely hand

a tender find - our fingers intertwined

[G] our hair brushing and our [A] foreheads a-touching

our [G] eyes are bound [Bm] without a [A| sound

[G] our hearts [A] apart no [D] more

[D] dreams come true - I [F#m] know they do

Now that [G] I met you - I [A] am renewed Y

ou offer your best - This is my test

Can I just rest - With you?

Finally meeting - our hearts a-beating

lips are parted - a new course charted

[G] sharing and caring The [A] smiles we’re wearing

[G] you heard my plea [Bm] you came to [A] me

[G] finally [A] free [D] girl

[D] dreams come true - I [F#m] know they do

Now that [G] I met you - I [A] am renewed

You offer your best This is my test

Can I just rest - With you?

Here I am singing the song. I couldn't play the riff and sing at the same time, so I had to double track myself.

This was my test. Could I just rest with her? The answer was no. Despite the fact that she was already experiencing problems that would tear her marriage apart, I was too good a Catholic boy to proceed. There is no doubt I would have proposed to her if she had been single. And for years, I wondered what if....

WHAT IF?

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

[D] what if who's to [F#m] say

[G] where we would be today

What [D] if who's to [F#m] know

[G] where the two of us could go

and [A] what the two of us could do

[D] if we knew what [G] if

what [A] if what [D] if

[F#m] I held you in my arms but let you [G] go

It [F#m] was painful for me then, as you [G] know

But [A] the memory lingers on head to [G] toe

Don’t [A] you know, girl, don’t you [D] know?

[D] what if who's to [F#m] care

that [G] fate's hand was so unfair

What [D] if who's to [F#m] cry

[G] that we should live and finally die

[A] never drinking our fill

Of [D] that longed for thrill

what [G] if what [A] if what [D] if

REPEAT CHORUS

[D] what if who's to [F#m] chart

[G] love's long journey through the heart

What [D] if who's to [F#m] hear

[G] the words I'd whisper in your ear

[A] words I long to speak

[D] of the love I seek

what [G] if what [A] if what [D] if

Here I am singing the song:

Tammy and I drifted apart after our stolen weekend. She soon found the man who would become her second husband. They've been together for twenty-six years. I am very happy for them.

Meanwhile, Mandy's reconciliation with her ex-husband proved short-lived. It left her angry and hurt. In its aftermath, she opened up even more to me about some tragic events in her past and troubled relationships. I wrote this song in response to her stories....

THE LONELY SENTRY

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

[D] a lonely sentry [A] standing guard

[Bm] after a battle [F#m] waged so hard

[G] left a heart [D] in disarray [G] torn and used

And [A] left that way

[D] cautious – [A] with cause, [Bm] afraid – [F#m] with reason

[G] hidden – [D] for safety, [G] guarded – [A] this season - arise

[D] standing guard [A] at a lonely post

[Bm] love a memory [F#m] a shadowy ghost

[G] darkness abounds [D] the stars don’t shine

[G] Is there no hope [A] Of a love to find?

[D] cautious – [A] with cause, [Bm] afraid – [F#m] with reason

[G] hidden – [D] for safety, [G] guarded – [A] this season - arise

[D] no need to hurry [A] sit and mend

[Bm] await that soul [F#m] with which to blend

[G] if words can comfort [D] and arms embrace

[G] trust me, girl [A] to put a smile on your face

[D] cautious – [A] with cause, [Bm] afraid – [F#m] with reason

[G] hidden – [D] for safety, [G] guarded – [A] this season - arise

In retrospect, I think I might have written that song about myself. Here I am singing it:

It was then that I decided to love her unconditionally. That I would be there for her no matter what. It was an experiment in love I had tried once before with another woman, with whom I was not and would never be romantically involved with. It worked beautifully and proved to be the basis of a lasting friendship. I thought I should do the same with Mandy. It seemed to work at first. Our relationship blossomed. I really started seeing us spending over lives together. It all felt so instinctive, hence the following song.

INSTINCTIVELY

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

[C] In the middle of the [G] night

I reached for [Am] you

In-[F]-stinctively

[C] and discovered

[G] to my sorrow

it [Am]was only a dream

only[F] a dream

[C]In the middle of the [G] night

I called your [Am] name

In-[F]-stinctively

[C] like two lovers

with [G] nowhere to go

but [Am] to a dream

back to a [F] dream

[Em] Tell me you’re [Am] there

[Em] Tell me that you [Am] care

[Em]Tell me that we [Am] share

That [F] dream [G]

[C] In the middle of the [G] night

I reached for [Am] you

In-[F]-stinctively

[C] under covers

afraid [G] that tomorrow

Would [Am] end our dream

[F] our perfect dream

[Em] Tell me you’re [Am] there

[Em] Tell me that you [Am] care

[Em]Tell me that we [Am] share

That [F] dream [G] that [C] dream

Here I am singing the song:

I could hardly believe how well things were going with Mandy. Finally, she said she loved me. Not as a friend but as a man. Real love.... I couldn't believe my luck!

At the time, I was a historical reenactor. I made arrangements for her to join me on a weekend event in Sodus Point, New York. It was perfect. Her ex husband had the kids that weekend so it would be just the two of us. But she seemed nervous as the date neared. Finally, she said she couldn't go because she had promised a couple from California she had met online that they could stay with her that weekend.

Turns out the couple wasn't a couple. It was a guy. He was her new love. Our relationship was over again before it had really started. After his visit, he promised to find a job in Maryland and move out. He didn't. Mandy was heart-broken. Since I remained a friend, she started calling to cry on my shoulder. Then we'd be going out to eat and the movies. There'd be hand-holding and kissing and sometimes more. It was like we were a couple, except in name. Today, you would call our relationship friends with some benefits, but I was very confused about our relationship at the time.

Then she would reconcile with her California boyfriend. I wouldn't really see or hear from her for weeks, until her boyfriend seemed reluctant to fulfill promises made. Then I would hear from her again and the process would start over. That's how our relationship played out for about five years. It was a true test of my internal vow of unconditional love.

Needless to say, this romantic ying and yang inspired many songs -- a few happy, most of them sad. I will only include a few of them here.

Let's start with a happy one:

MY SWEET LOVE

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

[D] My sweet love [A] flower of spring

[Bm] feed by the rains [G] warmed by the sun

time to [A] shine, now [D] shine

[D] My sweet love [A] petals arising

[Bm] silky and soft [G] extend to the sky

It’s your [A] time, our [D] time

[G] let me be your [D] meadow [Bm] let your roots run [A] deep

[G] we will grow [D] together [Bm] with promises we’ll [A] keep

[D] My sweet love [A] A delicate treat

[Bm] tender to touch [G] fragile beauty

So [A] fine, [D] divine

[G] let me be your [D] meadow [Bm] let your roots run [A] deep

[G] we will grow [D] together [Bm] with promises we’ll [A] keep

[D] My sweet love [A] Eyes closed

[Bm] Burdens gone [G] Trusting now

[A] be mine, be [D] mine

[G] let me be your [D] meadow [Bm] let your roots run [A] deep

[G] we will grow [D] together [Bm] with promises we’ll [A] keep

Here I am singing it:

Here's a sad one, but I wasn't about to give up:

STILL I BELIEVE

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

[G] I hunger for you [B7] beyond all words

[Em] the tongue can find. Or [G] the heart can bind

[C] words softly spoken, [D7] slowly subside

[G] leaving our memory [C] to decide

What [G] was truth And [D7] what was a [G] lie

[G] I hunger for you [B7] in action's realm

[Em] in daily haunts of [G] everyday wants

[C] actions deliver [D7] more than a term

[G] like brick and mortar [C] holding firm

[G] giving light [D7] dispelling the [G] night

[C] Burned by the sun and sand [G] I crawl the desert floor

Your [Em] Oasis lies just ahead [C] Please let your water [D7] pour

[G] I hunger for you [B7] in fevered dreams

[Em] of moist red lips [G] beyond friendship

[C] no promises given[D7] no future no past

[G] But still you say[C] Our love will last

Yet [G] you leave [D7] and I still[G] Believe

[C] Burned by the sun and sand [G] I crawl the desert floor

Your [Em] Oasis lies just ahead [C] Please let the water [D7] pour

REPEAT FINAL VERSE

Here I am singing it:

Here's one from the frustrated middle ground. She was probably equally frustrated by me constantly asking for more than she could give. I'll own that!

SHE MATERIALIZES AT WILL

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

She [C] drifts - like a [B7] scent on a breeze

[Em] tempting but tem-[G]-porary

[C] almost imagined [B7] but quite real

all [Em] too real.

My[C] hand – reaches [B7] outward to touch

[Em] fingers grasping [G] only air

[C] and emptiness [B7] is she gone?

Yes – [Em] she’s gone

She [C] materializes at [B7] will But [Em] she doesn’t ful-[G]-fill

the [C] want remains [B7] Leaving me in [Em] chains

Perfume -curling upwards away

a smoky ribbon so rare

how may I touch it? Is it desired?

Yes – desired

REPEAT CHORUS

Sunshine – lingers on the horizon

Ready to dip into night

Blindness coming. Is she needed?

Always needed

REPEAT CHORUS 2X

Here I am singing it:

Here's another sad one:

NO ONE ELSE FOR ME

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

[Am] I walked beside you, [Dm] woman

my [G] arm around your [Cmaj7] waist

my [Fmaj7] heart at last found [Dm] heaven

[Esus4] of your lips I won a [E] taste

in [Am] silence and conver-[Dm]-sation

[G] I drew closer than I [Cmaj7] should

I [Fmaj7] never dreamed you’d [Dm] walk away

Leaving [Esus4] me where I [E] stood

[Am] Try as I may and [Dm] try as I have

[G] I have struggled to break [Cmaj7] free

[Fmaj7] look as I may and [Dm] look as I have

[Esus4] there's no one else for [E] me

I saw your sweet smile, lady, your eyes dancing with delight

I stood in awe, transfigured enraptured by the sight

oh damn my expectations of the life that we could share

I couldn't enjoy the moment before me then and there

REPEAT CHORUS

I saw in you a partner a lover and a wife

the gift of every woman I needed in my life

The world you held inside your hand was big enough for me

but now you're gone and I must beg for you to hear my plea

REPEAT CHORUS

Have you closed the door, my love or is it open still

I long to look into your eyes and again drink my fill

my arms reach out 'cross an empty space cold and dead and dry

will you take my hand, sweet girl and give me another try

REPEAT CHORUS

Here I am singing it:

Here's another upbeat one:

SUPERNOVA BRIGHT

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

[D] Your voice softly coaxes [D+] Me from my shell

[D6] Making my heart skip a [D7] beat.

You embody the summer. The sun on my face

I kick my shoes from my feet.

The wind in your hair, like a billowing sail

Gliding me far from shore.

We cut through the water. Your smile reassures.

I want for nothing anymore.

[G] Nothing can contain [A] you [G] My heart bursts at the [A] seams

[Em] Every step the [G] beginning [A] Of a thousand [D] dreams

Your hand finds mine. I melt from the heat.

Burning away the cold.

Your lips find mine. Is this the rapture?

A promise long foretold.

REPEAT CHORUS

Your legs invite me. I tremble inside.

You’re supernova bright.

I lean into love. I surrender at last.

To you alone tonight

REPEAT CHORUS

Here I am singing it:

Here's one final song to sum up my relationship with Mandy. Here's the context. After a supposedly final break-up with her California boyfriend, we found ourselves together again. I boldly proposed marriage. She accepted. We fully consummated our physical relationship. (I was a good Christian boy waiting for marriage -- but being engaged was close enough for me!) Then, about two days later, she broke up with me to return to her California boyfriend....

ALWAYS AND FORVER

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

[G] Alone at night I [Bm] think of you

And your [Am] soft electric [C] skin

[G] How your hips [Bm] rose to meet me

And [Am] gently let me [G] in

No {Em] sweeter gift was [Am] ever given

Or [C] more gratefully [G] received

[Em] Even as you [Am] stole away

No [C] man could be more [G] pleased

[G] You offered me [Bm] everything

Except [Am] the rest of your [C] your life

[G] I should’ve accepted [Bm] you as you were

But I [Am] wanted to make you [G] my wife

But [Em] Rejoice, you purred, in [Am] what we share

A [C] love unexpected but [G] true

[Em] Trust that it will [Am] always be there

[C] Binding me and [G] you

[Am] We are still together, Seanie, [G] Always me and you

[Am] Always and forever, you said [G] Always me and you

[G] Curving breasts. [Bm] long blonde hair

And [Am] legs that never [C] ended

But [G] it was with [Bm] more than flesh

That [Am] I dreamed of being [G] blended

[Em] You shared a glimpse [Am] of your heart

[C] Your strength your fears [G] your soul

[Em] To love you com-[Am]-pletely

[C] Became my only [G] goal

REPEAT CHORUS

[G] I promised to [Bm] meet your needs

But [Am] demands I added [C] too

You [G] refused the [Bm] gilded cage

That [Am] I had built for [G] you

But [Em] Rejoice, you purred, in [Am] what we share

A [C] love unexpected but [G] true

[Em] Trust that it will [Am] always be there

[C] Binding me and [G] you

REPEAT CHORUS

[G] You were right, I [Bm] see it now

[Am] You’re just a dream [C] away

[G] Two old friends with a [Bm] secret smile

From [Am] our bygone [G] days

We’ve both changed each other

Lessons taught and learned

And every smile memory brings

In our hearts was burned

REPEAT CHORUS

Here I am singing the song:

The first verses are contemporaneous to the events. The chorus, however, came from something Mandy said years later. She told me that although our story didn't turn out the way we intended, we did truly love each other and that love would bind us forever. Her words reminded me of the end of Casablanca when Bogart said to Bergman: "We'll always have Paris." I can live with that. And we're still friends to this day.

Don't look at me as a victim of love. Obviously I was getting something out of the relationship or I would have walked away. Also, while I did experience some romantic frustration with her, did I actually fulfill my promise of unconditional love? Sure, I stuck with her despite her California boyfriend. However, I now realize that my expectations undermined the love I promised. I loved her "unconditionally" with the unstated proviso that we would be together, as a romantic couple in the end. My romantic feelings were always at odds with our friendship. Nowadays with us both married to other people with no lingering romantic inclinations toward each other, I feel we can both be more honest and open to each other as friends.

I guess that's what my next memoir will be about: What does it mean to truly love someone unconditionally? I'm still working on that answer myself! (My books tend to be about my failures, not the failures of others.) You can hear me read an intended first chapter here: Unconditional: Chapter 1

After our relationship ended, I wrote this final portrait of Mandy:

LITTLE GIRL BROKEN

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

Abandoned at birth by a mother unknown

Shipped away with no love ever shown

Innocence stolen in a criminal act

Her little heart shattered in the attack

Nurture she needed but abuse always reigned

The victim herself was finally blamed

She needed nurture but found none at home

So she built herself a protective dome

Brick by brick and stone by stone

Hardening both her flesh and bone

Into the sky it slowly reached

A castle too strong for a man to breach

Little girl broken in a woman of strength

Concealed deep inside at considerable length

The woman the equal to any task

Provided she never lowers her mask

Little girl restless, her pain unconsoled

Will she get the love to soothe her soul

While the woman grew in beauty and grace

The little girl shivered behind her face

Constantly pushing down the pain

Inside her tears tumbled like rain

A kingdom the woman now surveys

But in her heart, will love have its sway?

For the woman of strength love was a must

But the little girl broken could never trust

The ying and the yang broke many a man

Without the patience to understand

But I doubt a man can make her whole

Only God can soothe her soul

Repeat Chorus:

Here I am singing the song:

Fortunately, my final break-up with Mandy wasn't the end of my love life. I soon met my lovely wife Deborah and quickly married her. (I wasn't taking any chances with her!) We recently had our twenty-third anniversary.

Here's a song I sang to her at our wedding. It's based on our first date, when I asked her to stay in the car a moment longer for a kiss...

I’M HERE TO STAY

Words and Music by

Sean Paul Murphy

Take your hand from the handle

Slide away from the door

Can’t you feel the ice is melting?

Let me warm you to the core

Chorus:

I’m here to stay.

And I love you so.

I know you’ve been waiting.

I’ve been waiting too.

For a love to write songs about.

I’ve been waiting just for you

Repeat Chorus:

Bridge:

Let the past simply pass away, as we face this brand new day

Born again with you that night. You gave me wings and we took flight

Repeat 1st Verse:

Here I am singing the song:

Thankfully, I haven't written many songs about Debbie because, as I said in part one of these blogs, I only tend to write songs when I am uncertain or depressed. Debbie has been keeping me too happy!

My songs have brought me neither fame nor fortune. However, I think they work pretty well as a diary.

You can hear more of my music on Soundcloud: Sean Paul Murphy

Here's some music videos I worked on:

Big Pun: Twinz (Deep Cover 98)

Crack The Sky: Mr. President
Greg Kihn: Horror Show
Nils Lofgren: Alone

Face Dancer: Red Shoes

The Sunday Cannons: Friends Become Flowers

More personal musings:

Me, Post Death

My Premature Memorial Video

Meeting The Love of My Life

My Wedding 09.30.2000

Personal Letter, or, Love in the Time of Texts

Death of an Amway God

Religion & Politics: An Uneasy Mix

The Most Important Election of Our Lifetime

God Told Me to Write It

Prince and the Nexus of Music and Memory

Surviving The Year of Death

The Ultimate Wedding Extravaganza

Sean Paul Murphy: (Failed) Songwriter

Sean Paul Murphy: (Failed) Songwriter, Pt. 2

Other early writings:

Short Story: Christmas

Short Story: The Intruders

Short Story: To Die A Hero
Short Film: The Lunch
The Three Stooges: An Analysis
Recent Horror Films: An Analysis

My Life - My 4th Grade Autobiography

My Poetry, or, The Sorrow and The Self-Pity

Sean Paul Murphy: (Failed) Songwriter

Sean Paul Murphy: (Failed) Songwriter, Pt. 2

Be sure to check out my memoir The Promise, or the Pros and Cons of Talking with God, published by TouchPoint Press. It is my true story of first faith and first love and how the two became almost fatally intertwined.

Here are some sample chapters of The Promise:

Chapter 1 - A Photograph

Chapter 2 - My Death

Chapter 3 - Childhood

Chapter 4 - Saved!

Chapter 5 - The Promise

Chapter 6 - The Mission

Chapter 7 - Mission Accomplished
Chapter 15 - Quarter To Midnight

Be sure to check out my novel Chapel Street. It tells the story of a young man straddling the line between sanity and madness while battling a demonic entity that has driven his family members to suicide for generations. It was inspired by an actual haunting my family experienced.

You can buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & Noble.

Learn more about the book, click Here.

Watch the book trailer: