Sean Paul Murphy, Writer

Sean Paul Murphy, Writer
Sean Paul Murphy, Storyteller

Friday, January 8, 2021

Writer Tip #30: Anatomy of a Query Letter

I wrote an earlier blog about query letters.  In that blog, I reprinted a number of my successful ones. This blog is a little different. Here I will show my process in creating a query letter. I will explain all of my whys and what fors in a potential attempt to market the movie rights (and script) of my novel Chapel Street.

This is only a potential query letter. A number of production companies, including some very respectable ones, requested the novel from the publisher. I have to wait and see how that plays out. Additionally, prior to publication, a producer I know tried to incorporate Chapel Street into a four picture deal a friend had going. Sadly, everyone agreed the film couldn't be done on the projected budget. More recently, a team of successful producers have solicited me about the rights for the novel. However, because of the COVID shutdown, no one seems to be in a particular hurry. (I have another film, with money in place, currently languishing in pre-production because of the pandemic. I hope the money is still there after the virus is gone!)

That's why this is only a potential query letter. I want to have one ready to go if all of the current interest fades, but I don't anticipate sending it out anytime soon. If ever. So here goes.

Whenever you try to sell anything, you have to consider your strengths and weaknesses. Then maximize your strengths and downplay your weaknesses.

Let's deal with the strengths first.

I believe I have a really strong story that people will enjoy. However, my enthusiasm, while necessary, isn't a convincing argument in and of itself. Every pitch and query a producer receives from a writer will (or should) feature that exact same enthusiasm, whether the script is good or bad. Fortunately, I have an advantage in this category. 

Why are producers more willing to read scripts from agents rather than from the writers themselves? Easy. Because they believe agents have already weeded out all of the garbage and the crazies. They curated the material they send out. I will not be sending this script out with an agent. Therefore, I have to make the producers realize that Chapel Street has gone through the same process of curation. That's why I must say that the book has been traditionally published by TouchPoint Press. That means that a genuine for profit corporation found something of value in the story and decided to actually invest in it. Anyone can self-publish. A listing on Amazon is no guarantee of quality. A self-published book carries zero weight in Hollywood -- unless it sells five million copies. 

Additionally, even if they have never heard of my publisher, they've certainly heard of Publishers Weekly. They are an industry arbiter of quality. That's why I am going to add that Chapel Street was one of only seven horror titles featured in their October Booklife Indie Spotlight. The fact that they gave me the nod should carry some weight.

Another strength is my past experience as a screenwriter. In addition to winning awards, I also have written fourteen produced feature films. That proves I know how to operate within the system. That's important. Everybody wants to deal with someone who knows and respects the rules.

Additionally, Chapel Street was inspired by a true haunting. Producers and studios wants to say that their film is inspired by a true story. It increases the curiosity factor with the audience. Therefore, I have to make the producer aware of the factual roots of the story in my pitch.

Sounds like I have it made, right? Well, I do have one weakness to overcome: Twelve of my fourteen produced films were faith-based. That makes me a little suspect in mainstream Hollywood. They want straight-up horror, not preaching. My problem is compounded by the fact villain is demonic. That makes it inherently spiritual. Fortunately, supernatural and spiritual elements are widely accepted in the horror genre. Many people consider The Exorcist the best horror film ever made. Chapel Street is no more religious than that film. I feel I should be able to overcome the faith-based weakness.

Okay, let's get on with the query -- line by line.

Dear Mr. Blum,

I am writing because I have enjoyed your films for years. I believe you and your company are at the global forefront of the horror genre. I know you will love my script.

Obviously, this first line will change with every pitch, but I like to open with something personal. If you can't find something nice to say about a producer and his/her work, then maybe you shouldn't be sending your script to them!

“The Conjuring” meets “Hereditary” in my highly acclaimed paranormal thriller “Chapel Street,” traditionally published by TouchPoint Press and inspired by an actual haunting. The novel was one of only seven horror titles recently featured in Publishers Weekly’s October BookLife Indie Spotlight.

Why am I comparing my script to other films? Easy. To show that stories like mine have made money for studios. Here's a rule my late agent, Stu Robinson, taught me: Never compare your script to a film that lost money regardless of how good or interesting it was. It's about making money.

Notice how I succinctly hit all of my strengths in that one paragraph? Never bury the lead. Let them know why they should read your script.

Logline: Rick Bakos straddles the line between sanity and madness while battling a demonic curse that has driven his family members to suicide for generations.

Here’s a video trailer for the book: https://youtu.be/oHnU9tuBD7A

These lines represent a huge departure from the way I usually do things. In the past I would go with a slightly longer log line.  This time I decided to leave the heavy lifting to a video trailer. 

I've never incorporated video into a pitch before, but after listening to the guys on the fantastic Scriptnotes podcast, I decided to give it a try. I think it is a great piece with eerie music, spooky images and a fabulous voice over by actor friend Mark Redfield. It's four minutes long. Two minutes are devoted to the story. Two minutes are devoted to review excerpts. If someone doesn't want to read the script or the book after watching that piece, I don't know what else I could possibly do. 

Read about the actual haunting here: https://seanpaulmurphyville.blogspot.com/2019/09/the-haunting-of-21-st-helens-avenue.html

I feel it is important to link to my blogs about the actual haunting that inspired the story. A truth claim needs to be backed up. However, as you can see, I am counting on the producer to click on not one but two links. That's asking a lot, but I'm willing to take the chance.

In addition to being a novelist, I am also an award-winning screenwriter with fourteen produced features. A series of short true crime films I wrote for the FBI won a combined six Emmys on the Pentagon Channel. The late Stu Robinson at Paradigm formerly represented me.

This is all I say about myself. To avoid my association with the faith-based genre, I do not mention the names of any of my specific films despite the fact that many of them feature recognizable name actors. (Your credibility as a screenwriter hinges in part on the ability of your scripts to attract recognizable names.) I mention that I am an award-winning screenwriter. However, I do not specifically mention that I was a 2012 winner of the $50,000 Kairos Prize, because that award is widely associated with the faith-based genre. Instead, I count on the Emmys that my FBI films won to give my writing credibility. They were regional Emmys, but an Emmy is an Emmy is an Emmy. Or so I've been told.

When I pitched Chapel Street as a book, I mentioned that I taught writing at Towson University. I don't mention my teaching experience when I pitch producers. I don't think they value teaching as much as publishers. You know the old saying: Those that can do, those that can't teach....

Some might find it odd that I mention my late agent Stu Robinson. I know I did. I would have never thought to do so until I had a conversation with a producer about one of my scripts. He asked me about my background and I mentioned Stu. He said Stu was very well respected and I should always mention him in my queries. He said my connection with him made me "a member of the club." I've been doing it ever since. Plus, I feel like I'm honoring him when I mention his name. I like that. I doubt I would be where I am now if he didn't believe in me.

So Stu remains. Always. (Unless I get a new agent. Then it might be awkward.)

To get a copy of the novel “Chapel Street,” please contact Sheri Williams at TouchPoint Press: (her email address.)

To read my adaptation for the screen, just hit reply. It’s that easy.


A lot of politics in these two lines. I've never found myself in this position before.

Chapel Street is both a novel and a script. I want the producer to know that he/she can read one or the other or both. Ideally, I would like them to use my adaptation. However, I would be happy to sell the book rights alone on the proper terms. Also, I want them to realize that the publisher will have some input on the deal. And they have better lawyers than I do.

Thanks for your consideration,

(My contact information)

I am always genuinely thankful for any consideration. I don't think most screenwriters realize how many unsolicited pitches a producer gets every day. I count it a success if they read my entire query email. That's why I never bug producers who request my scripts. I trust them to read it in their own time, and, if they're interested, get back to me. I never send follow-up emails, unless someone else if making an actual offer for the script.

So there's my pitch. Hopefully, I won't have to use it!

Other Writing Tips:


Jump ahead of the people I might be approaching by checking out my novel Chapel Street on Amazon now:


Learn more about the book, click Here.

Watch the book trailer here:

 

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