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| The House |
That true haunting would provide the emotional and psychological underpinnings of my upcoming novel Chapel Street, which will be published by TouchPoint Press in July of 2020. My surviving sister Jeanne, after reading the first draft, called the novel a cartoon version of the actual events. She did not mean that as an insult. She simply meant that the events in the book were highly exaggerated. True. Sadly, I do not possess the necessary skill as a writer to adequately convey the terror that the nightly footsteps, bangings and occasional appearance inspired. However, she could see the real people, places and events behind the fictional story.
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| Jeanne and myself |
As people close to our family know, we rarely discussed the haunting in any detail with outsiders. In fact, we rarely discussed it among ourselves either. Our reticence had four main reasons.
The first was fear. We believed it could come to you if you talked about it. Prior to the writing of the book, I never knowingly experienced the presence of the entity away from the house, but my mother did. I do not doubt her. However, I suspect her relationship with the presence was different than mine. She was an owner of the house. Technically speaking, my siblings and I were merely residents. For reasons I will explain later, I believe that bound them together differently.
Secondly, we learned that talking about the entity -- or worse, with it -- empowered it. I (incorrectly) dismissed the haunting as a low grade nuisance until a direct attempt was made to communicate with the entity in the mid-1980s. Then the activity shifted dramatically into full blown poltergeist territory. This fear of talking to it led to a fear of talking about it.
The third reason was the fear of being considered insane. Although the entity could manipulate physical reality, i.e., move furniture and turn lights on and off, and physically manifest itself, the tools of its attack were primarily psychological and spiritual in nature. It became apparent that its goal was to isolate us and drive us individually into madness and suicide. As a result of these tactics, I like to say there wasn't one haunting. There were seven individual ones.
The final reason was guilt. For one reason or another, some of us felt responsible for the haunting or its continuance, and, therefore, the aftermath. Until recently, I thought I was the only one. I wasn't.
Guilt, more than anything else, inspired my book Chapel Street. I pointedly resolved never to write about the haunting of our home on St. Helens Avenue. I make no mention of it in my memoir The Promise, or the Pros and Cons of Talking with God. That said, after a recent meeting with my family about the haunting, I now look at some of the events in that book in a different light. I now believe I was being manipulated by the entity long before I became aware of it in any direct sense.
However, my resolution never to write about the haunting gave way after my mother asked me whether I thought the entity was responsible, in part, for the suicide deaths of my sister Laura and my brother Mark. I confessed I considered that possibility, despite the fact that neither of them died in the house. My sister shot herself about a mile away in the basement of her own home on Roselawn Avenue. My brother hung himself even further away at a construction site next to a motel where he was staying in Flint, Michigan. It seems mad to believe that the entity could stretch its hand that far. But could it have planted something in them -- and the rest of us -- that made it inevitable?
Anyone who has lived in the shadow of suicide makes a companion of guilt. You always blame yourself for not doing, or knowing, enough to help. That's only natural.
But did we truly miss a spiritual cause for their actions?
I wonder.
Mark, Laura and Jeanne at Hamlet Avenue
Poor Mark always seemed doomed. He spent the last years of his life in and out of institutions as he battled mental illness. His death was not a shock. However, the death of my sister Laura was. In retrospect, I think we, as a family, settled too quickly into the least painful narrative possible concerning her death without considering all of the circumstances. Looking into the haunting has given me the opportunity to reconsider those deaths. I am not saying that my siblings were not responsible for their own actions. They were not murdered. However, did we -- I -- miss some early warning signs -- supernatural or otherwise? Time to finally ask some questions.
A fellow author I respect said my work seems death obsessed. I can't disagree. Nor do I apologize for it. Death is perhaps the most important subject we, as human beings, must deal with. The Promise, or the Pros and Cons of Talking with God was a suicide book. It dealt with my one intentional attempt at suicide, from which I was miraculously spared, and my sister's successful attempt. Chapel Street is also a suicide book. It deals, in a fictional manner, with other unintentional and unsuccessful suicide events and my brother's sadly successful one.
Chapel Street might be fiction, but the horror that inspired it is real enough.
And, I fear, it is not over yet.
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| Mark, mid-90s |
The address of the house is not currently 21 St. Helens Avenue. That was actually the address of the house when it was originally built, but the street name and number changed over the years. Forgive me if I refrain from giving the actual address to preserve the privacy of the current residents.
Also, I really hate the word haunting. That word conjures up in the popular imagination images of ghosts -- the spirits of deceased human beings. I firmly believe the entity in the house was not human but rather demonic in nature. Most of my family members agree with that assessment. However, some believe there was more than one entity. Some believe one of the entities was a female human spirit. I'll let you listen and judge for yourself later.
Additional blogs about the haunting:
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 1, An Introduction
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 2, The House
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 3, This Is Us
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 4, Arrival
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 5, Methodology
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 6, Clara's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 7, Clara's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 8, My Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 9, My Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 10, My Tale, Pt. 3
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 11, Natalia's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 12, Natalia's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 13, John's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 14, John's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 15, Come Inside!
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 16, Marion's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 17, Marion's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 18, Jeanne's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 19, Jeanne's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 20, Lisa's Tale
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 21, Recap, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 22, Recap, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 23, Recap, Pt. 3
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 2, The House
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 3, This Is Us
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 4, Arrival
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 5, Methodology
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 6, Clara's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 7, Clara's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 8, My Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 9, My Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 10, My Tale, Pt. 3
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 11, Natalia's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 12, Natalia's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 13, John's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 14, John's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 15, Come Inside!
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 16, Marion's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 17, Marion's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 18, Jeanne's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 19, Jeanne's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 20, Lisa's Tale
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 21, Recap, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 22, Recap, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 23, Recap, Pt. 3
My novel Chapel Street was inspired by the haunting. You can currently buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & Noble.
Listen to me read some chapters here:
Chapel Street - Prologue - My Mother
Chapel Street - Chapter 1 - RestingPlace.com
Chapel Street - Chapter 2 - Elisabetta
Chapel Street - Chapter 3 - The Upload
Chapel Street - Chapter 4 - The Kobayashi Maru
Let's stay in touch:
Chapel Street - Prologue - My Mother
Chapel Street - Chapter 1 - RestingPlace.com
Chapel Street - Chapter 2 - Elisabetta
Chapel Street - Chapter 3 - The Upload
Chapel Street - Chapter 4 - The Kobayashi Maru
Let's stay in touch:
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