Thursday, June 29, 2023

My 10 Favorite Train Movies

My fellow Yippee Ki Yay Mother Podcaster Ralph Quattrucci posted a short on YouTube about his three favorite train movies. I immediately posted an answering short with my three favorite ones. That got me thinking about my Top 10 Train Movies. My only criterion is that most of the action takes place on the train. Therefore, a film like Alfred Hitchcock's Strangers on a Train, or North By Northwest, would not qualify. (Don't worry, there will be a Hitchcock film.)

Here's my list:


Directed by Howard Hawks
Screenplay by Ben Hecht and Charles MacArthur
Based on the play by Charles Bruce Millholland

Twentieth Century is a screwball comedy about a ruthless Broadway producer, Oscar Jaffe (played by John Barrymore), who discovers a young woman named Lily Garland (played by Carole Lombard) and transforms her into a star. However, their professional and personal relationship turns sour, and they go their separate ways. Years later, they meet again on a train called the Twentieth Century, and Oscar tries to win Lily back.

The film is significant because it was one of the earliest examples of the screwball comedy genre, which became popular in the 1930s and 1940s. It strongly benefits from the script by Ben Hecht and Charles MacArthur. I consider Ben Hecht the greatest Hollywood screenwriter of all time. He could write anything, and, at his peak, apparently did write everything. In this film he worked with his partner Charles MacArthur, with whom he wrote the classic play The Front Page, which has been adapted into a movie many times.

 

Based on the book by Charles Van Allsburg

The Polar Express is a computer-animated Christmas film about a young boy who doubts the existence of Santa Claus, but one Christmas Eve, he boards a magical train called the Polar Express that takes him on a journey to the North Pole to meet Santa.

The film is significant for its groundbreaking use of motion capture technology, which allowed for realistic human movements to be captured and translated onto digital characters. The film's visual effects were praised at the time of its release, as they were considered a significant step forward in computer animation. (Other people found the animation creepy.) The movie also features a star-studded cast, including Tom Hanks, who played multiple roles in the film, including the train conductor and Santa Claus.

Of all the train films, I have easily seen this one the most. It seems that all of my grandchildren have gone through their Polar Express period. If only for all of the times I've watched the film with them, it will remain a holiday classic for me forever.

  


Directed by Tony Scott
Written by Mark Bomback

Unstoppable is based on a true story and follows two railroad workers, played by Denzel Washington and Chris Pine, who attempt to stop a runaway train carrying hazardous chemicals before it causes a catastrophic disaster.

Tony Scott delivers all the action you'd expect from him in this film, which was enhanced by the use of actual trains and practical effects. Denzel Washington and Chris Pine give great performances. I thought it was only fair for me to include this film since I would definitely not be including Denzel's other train film, the 2009 remake of The Taking of Pelham 123, which was also directed by Tony Scott.

  


Based on the novel by Ethel Lina White

A young woman traveling on a train in Eastern Europe suspects that a kindly old woman who befriended her has disappeared -- but no one else seems to remember her.

The Lady Vanishes is a sentimental favorite. I first saw it projected on 16mm in the basement of my local library one Saturday afternoon and I became permanently hooked on Hitchcock. That said, the film does have a few problems. The models are pretty unwatchable by today's standards, and the film takes a long time to finally get rolling. On the plus side, the leads Margaret Lockwood and Michael Redgrave have great chemistry, and the film has all of the suspense and humor one expects from Alfred Hitchcock.

The Lady Vanishes is an enjoyable film that certainly earns its place on this list. I am always happy to watch it.

Watch the whole movie here:

  


6. TRAIN TO BUSAN, 2016
Written by Joo-Suk Park and Sang-Ho Yeun
Directed by Sang-Ho Yeun

Train to Busan follows a group of passengers who are aboard a train bound for Busan, a city that is reportedly safe from a viral outbreak that turns victims into aggressive and violent zombies. The protagonist, a workaholic father named Seok-woo, along with his young daughter and a group of survivors, must fight for their survival and find a way to escape the train and reach Busan, where they hope to find safety.

If you like train movies and zombie movies, Train to Busan should be a slice of heaven for you. It excels in both categories. This film also helped put South Korea on the horror movie map and revitalize the zombie genre. 

Here's the trailer:

       


5. SILVER STREAK, 1976
Written by Colin Higgins
Directed by Arthur Hiller

Silver Streak is a comedy-thriller featuring Gene Wilder as a mild-mannered book editor who finds himself caught in a murder plot and international intrigue while traveling from Los Angeles to Chicago on the train.

This is a highly-enjoyable film most notable for being the first pairing of Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor. Their chemistry was instantly evident and they would be paired repeatedly in the future, most significantly in the film Stir Crazy. My only problem with this film is that Richard Pryor arrives too late!

Here's the trailer:

 

Written by Christopher Knopf
Directed by Robert Aldrich

Emperor of the North is set during the Great Depression and tells the story of a brutal and dangerous railroad conductor named Shack (Ernest Borgnine) who takes it as a personal challenge to prevent hobos from riding on his train. A legendary drifter named A-No. 1 (Lee Marvin) takes on Shack's challenge and attempts to ride Shack's train to the end of the line, and becomes embroiled in a lethal battle of wits and wills.

With films like The Dirty Dozen and Flight of the Phoenix under his belt, Robert Aldrich was a director of manly action films. This film fits easily into his oeuvre. It didn't do as well as many of his other pictures. I think it was because the lead characters weren't as sympathetic and their mission less heroic. Still, it is a helluva train film. And those people who only know Borgnine as the lovable captain in the TV series McHale's Navy are in for a surprise!

Here's the trailer:

 


3. THE GENERAL, 1926
Based on the book by William Pittenger (uncredited)
Directed by Clyde Bruckman & Buster Keaton

In The General, which was based on actual events, Buster Keaton plays a Confederate train engineer named Johnnie Gray who tries to rescue his beloved locomotive, The General, from Union spies.

No list of train films would be complete without this masterful silent comedy. Along with Chaplin's The Gold Rush and perhaps Harold Lloyd's Safety Last, The General is one of the best known silent films. And for good reason. It is significant for its technical achievements, particularly the elaborate and dangerous stunts performed by Keaton and his crew.  Keaton actually broke his neck performing a stunt but didn't realize it until years later. The General was not considered a commercial success upon its initial release, but it's reputation has grown over the ensuing decades. It is now considered a landmark of American cinema, and an excellent place for a novice to jump into Keaton's work.

Here's the film:

 


Based on the novel by John Godey
Written by Peter Stone
Directed by Joseph Sargent

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, based on the bestselling novel, is a crime thriller about a group of criminals let by Robert Shaw who hijack a subway train and its passengers for a million dollar ransom. Walter Matthau plays a Transit Authority police officer who acts as a go-between with the hijackers while trying to figure out how they plan to escape from the underground tunnel.

This is one of the most intense crime thrillers of the 1970s. Although director Joseph Sargent is not known as an auteur or stylist, I doubt Hitchcock or Spielberg could have done better. (Tony Scott certainly couldn't!) The script by Peter Stone, who has won an Oscar, a Tony and an Emmy, doesn't waste a word and adds ample humor to leaven the tension. The performances are uniformly stellar. Walter Matthau was never better -- and that's saying something. The David Shire score is memorably iconic. The film also captures the grimy New York City of the early-70's in all of its glory. It is a must see that truly stands the test of time, despite the fact that it leans heavily into the misogyny and casual racism of the era. It has been remake twice. Neither version holds a candle to it.

Here's the trailer:

   

 Here we are discussing the film on the podcast:

 

Here we are discussing the film and the remake(s):

 


1. RUNAWAY TRAIN, 1985
Based on a screenplay by Akira Kurosawa

I wrote a very long appreciation of this film. Read it here: Film Appreciation: Runaway Train.

In Runaway Train, two escaped convicts, played by Jon Voight and Eric Roberts, board a runaway train and must stop it before it derails and causes a catastrophic crash with the help of a railroad employee played by Rebecca De Mornay.

It would be easy to agree that The Taking Of Pelham One Two Three is a better film on almost every level, but Runaway Train tops my list because of the sheer trainness of the story. In this film, the train itself, rather than the characters, is the instrument of fate and possible doom.

This film, which was originally slated to be Akira Kurosawa's American debut, is an existential masterpiece about what makes us human and is considered one of the best action films of the 1980s. Jon Voight and Eric Roberts both earned Academy Award nominations for their performances -- which are admittedly way over the top at times. This remains a must see for me. If it's on, I'm watching it!

Once again, check out my longer review: Film Appreciation: Runaway Train.

Here's the trailer:

 

Here are my other lists:


My novel Chapel Street is now available! You can currently buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & Noble.


Learn more about the book, click Here.

Watch the book trailer:

  

Listen to me read some chapters here:


Let's stay in touch:

Follow me on Twitter: SeanPaulMurphy
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Wednesday, June 28, 2023

YKYMP: #180: Baahubali 2: The Conclusion/#181 REMAKES: Brick Mansions

Here's two more exciting ZOOM editions of the Yippee-Ki-Yay Mother Podcast, a lively discussion of the movies that sometimes devolves into a group therapy session.

Part one of this saga was one of the first Indian films we watched. Now we finish the story with the epic Baahubali 2: The Conclusion. After watching nearly thirty more grounded Indian films, how do we feel about this return to the mytho-heroic genre? Check out our review and find out:

 


In our Remakes episode, we compare and contrast the dystopian French action film District B13 with the American remake Brick Mansions. Some sequences are redone practically shot for shot. What's more interesting is what has been changed.  Check out our review:

     

Our Podcast is available on iTunes: Yippee Ki Yay Mother Podcast
Subscribe to our YouTube page: Yippee Ki Yay Mother Podcast
Check out our webpage: Yippee-Ki-Yay Mother Podcast
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Follow us on Twitter: YKYPodcast

Check out our other episodes here:


My novel Chapel Street is now available! You can currently buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & Noble.


Learn more about the book, click Here.

Watch the book trailer:

  

Listen to me read some chapters here:


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Sunday, June 25, 2023

First Five: Runaway Heart

My wife Debbie, with her runaway heart in Pisa.

I am awfully quick to give advice about screenwriting in this blog. And some people actually accept it. The funny thing is that none of those people have ever read any of my scripts! They might have seen one of my films, but, with a finished film, it is difficult to say who contributed what. Therefore, to help people decide whether my writing advice is any good, I am posting some pages for your pleasure and perusal.

Inspired by the three-page challenges on the Scriptnotes podcast by John August and Craig Mazin, I have decided to post the opening of some of my scripts in a series of blogs. However, rather than three pages, I am going with five pages because I feel that will provide a more accurate appraisal of my writing and the stories. I am not posting the scripts of any of my produced films. That would be complicated legally since those scripts now belong to their respective production companies. Nor am I posting any script currently under option for the same reason. These scripts are either new or part of my back catalog. Some are ready to be pitched. Others need a little polishing. But you can read the first five pages now.

My first sample is Runaway Heart, co-written by the amazing Jenna Healy Gloeb. Jenna is a journalist and screenwriter. Two of her spec scripts have been optioned, and she has been hired to write a feature on assignment. She is one of the strongest, young writers I have ever met. I jumped at the opportunity to write a script with her.

I developed the original idea for Runaway Heart. However, I had trouble executing the story because I was too close to the material which was often autobiographical or based on real people I knew. Jenna provided the necessary emotional distance -- and the keen sense of character development -- needed to get the script over the finish line. The project was being initially developed by an Italian distributor as an Italian/American co-production before COVID shut everything now. Hopefully, we can bring it back to life. 

Here's the logline:

After losing touch with her family and unable to fully commit to her husband due to emotional scars from her troubled childhood, a waitress named Romy embarks on a journey to Italy to uncover the mysteries of her family's past, leading to unexpected love, unconditional acceptance, and a newfound sense of self-worth.

Here are the first five pages:






I hope you enjoyed those first five pages. You can read the whole script here:



My novel Chapel Street is now available! You can buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & NobleChapel Street is the tale of a young man battling a demonic entity that has driven members of his family to suicide for generations. It was inspired by an actual haunting. 


Learn more about the book, click Here.

Listen to me read some chapters here:


Read about the true haunting that inspired the novel here:

The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 1, An Introduction
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 2, The House
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 3, This Is Us
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 4, Arrival
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 5, Methodology
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 6, Clara's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 7, Clara's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 8, My Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 9, My Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 10, My Tale, Pt. 3
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 11, Natalia's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 12, Natalia's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 13, John's Tale, Pt. 1 
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 14, John's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 15, Come Inside!
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 16, Marion's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 17, Marion's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 18, Jeanne's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 19, Jeanne's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 20, Lisa's Tale
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 21, Recap, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 22, Recap, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 23, Recap, Pt. 3

Let's stay in touch:

Follow me on Twitter: SeanPaulMurphy
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Saturday, June 24, 2023

YKYMP: #178: English Vinglish/#179 REMAKES: The Magnificent Seven

Here's two more exciting ZOOM editions of the Yippee-Ki-Yay Mother Podcast, a lively discussion of the movies that sometimes devolves into a group therapy session.

A traditional Indian wife, played by the late Sirdevi, becomes an object of scorn within her family because of her inability to speak English in the film English Vinglish. She takes control of her fate when decides to take English lessons while preparing for a family wedding in New York. Check out our heated review:

 

In our Remakes episode, we compare the two versions of the western classic The Magnificent Seven. But wasn't the original film a remake of The Seven Samurai to begin with? Check out our review and find out how Denzel Washington holds up to Yul Brynner:

    

Our Podcast is available on iTunes: Yippee Ki Yay Mother Podcast
Subscribe to our YouTube page: Yippee Ki Yay Mother Podcast
Check out our webpage: Yippee-Ki-Yay Mother Podcast
Like us on Facebook: Yippee-Ki-Yay Mother Podcast.
Follow us on Twitter: YKYPodcast

Check out our other episodes here:


My novel Chapel Street is now available! You can currently buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & Noble.


Learn more about the book, click Here.

Watch the book trailer:

  

Listen to me read some chapters here:


Follow me on Twitter: SeanPaulMurphy
Follow me on Facebook: Sean Paul Murphy
Follow me on Instagram: Sean Paul Murphy
Subscribe on YouTube: Sean Paul Murphy

Sunday, June 18, 2023

Grading ChatGPT, Part 1: "Wings of Courage"


My fascination with artificial intelligence continues, especially since the use of AI is a major factor in the negotiations between the studios and the striking WGA,w. I believe AI will be a threat to a number of professions in the future. But is it a threat to writers now? I decided to do a little experiment.

I asked ChatGPT to write a script for me, which I would then grade using the same criterion I employed with my students when I taught at Towson University.

I taught the class Broadcast/Film Writing for a few semesters at the University before COVID temporarily dampened enrollment. It was a 300 level course in the Electronic Media and Film Department. The class had two pre-requisites, and the textbook was The Short Screenplay by Daniel Gurskis. The syllabus, which I did not write, outlined a number of laudable goals for the class. However, its real purpose was to help the students write good, shootable scripts for their advanced production classes. 

The class had six graded assignments.

1). Nonfiction Treatment Proposal.
2). Nonfiction Script
3). 2-4 Minute Short Treatment
4). 2-4 Minute Screenplay
5). 5-8 Minute Short Treatment
6). 5-8 Minute Screenplay (Final Project)

Here's the grading rubric for the fiction projects:

EMF 377 GRADING RUBRIC –

FICTION SCRIPT ASSIGNMENTS

 

Rubric Elements

 

Unsatisfactory

1 point

Average

2 points

Above Average

3 points

Excellent

4 points

Total

Protagonist
Description, Motivation, Action

insufficient or lackluster portrayal of the protagonist

 

adequate portrayal of the protagonist

effective portrayal of the protagonist

vivid, superior work

 

Antagonist/

Source of Conflict
Description, Motivation, Action

insufficient or lackluster portrayal of the antagonist/

conflict

 

adequate portrayal of the antagonist/ source of conflict

effective portrayal of the antagonist/source of conflict

vivid, superior work

 

Dramatic Structure
Setup, Development& Climax/

Resolution

poor or ineffective use of the required dramatic structural elements

adequate use of the required dramatic structural elements

effective use of the required dramatic structural elements

superior use of the required elements

 

Format

Script format as specified by the instructor & text

flawed, numerous errors

adequate, some errors

effective, very few errors.

professional& error-free

 

 

Writing
Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Visual storytelling

 

flawed, many errors

adequate, with some errors

effective, very few errors.

professional & error-free

 

A = 17-20

B+ =  16

B = 14-15

C+ = 11-13

C = 9-10

D+ = 7-8

D = 6

F= 5 & below

 

 

 

 

Score


How did ChatGPT do? Here's the command I gave it:  "Write a screenplay about a World War II pilot worried about dying on a mission."

Here's the result:

Title: "Wings of Courage"

INT. PILOT'S QUARTERS - NIGHT

A dimly lit room, filled with memorabilia of World War II. JAMES, a seasoned pilot in his early thirties, sits on the edge of his bed, a troubled expression on his face. He flips through a photo album, filled with pictures of his comrades, some crossed out with a pen.

JAMES (whispering to himself) How many more missions can I survive? Will tomorrow be the day I don't make it back?

INT. MESS HALL - DAY

James sits at a table, surrounded by fellow PILOTS. Laughter and conversation fill the air. But James remains distant, lost in his own thoughts. His eyes wander, observing the camaraderie around him.

PILOT 1 Hey, James, you've been quiet lately. Everything alright?

James snaps back to reality, forcing a smile.

JAMES Yeah, just preoccupied with the upcoming mission, I guess.

PILOT 2 You worry too much, mate. We've flown countless missions, and we're still here.

INT. AIRFIELD - DAY

James walks towards his P-51 MUSTANG plane, his trusted companion. He runs his hand along the fuselage, feeling the cold metal beneath his fingers. His anxiety builds.

JAMES (whispering) Come on, old girl. Bring me back safely, just one more time.

INT. READY ROOM - DAY

James and his comrades sit in a briefing room, maps and mission details projected on the wall. The COMMANDER, a stern man in his fifties, stands at the front.

COMMANDER Gentlemen, our mission tomorrow is critical. We're heading deep into enemy territory to neutralize a high-priority target.

James feels a knot forming in his stomach. His hands tremble slightly.

COMMANDER (CONT'D) We've trained for this. We know our jobs, and we know what's at stake. We're the best damn pilots out there.

James steals glances at his fellow pilots, his nerves still evident.

COMMANDER (CONT'D) Trust in your training, trust in your comrades, and most importantly, trust in yourselves. Now, let's bring the fight to them!

The pilots cheer, but James's enthusiasm is restrained.

INT. SQUADRON BRIEFING ROOM - NIGHT

James sits alone at a table, sipping coffee, his face etched with worry. Suddenly, the door opens, revealing SARAH, a young nurse in her twenties. She walks over to James, concern in her eyes.

SARAH You seem troubled, James. Is there something bothering you?

James hesitates, then opens up to Sarah.

JAMES I can't shake this feeling, Sarah. Every mission, the fear of not making it back haunts me. I've seen too many friends go down.

Sarah reaches out, placing a comforting hand on James's.

SARAH It's natural to be scared, James. But remember why you're fighting. Remember the lives you've saved, the freedom you're defending. Have faith in your skills and the strength of your spirit.

James gazes at Sarah, finding solace in her words.

INT. AIRPLANE COCKPIT - DAY

James sits in the cockpit of his Mustang, gripping the control stick tightly. He takes a deep breath, steeling himself for what lies ahead.

JAMES (to himself) I can do this. I will come back.

EXT. SKIES ABOVE ENEMY TERRITORY - DAY

James's squadron soars through the skies, their engines roaring. Enemy flak erupts around them, the sky filled with chaos. James skillfully maneuvers through the onslaught, determination etched on his face.

INT. AIRPLANE COCKPIT - DAY

James scans the skies, his heart pounding. Suddenly, an enemy fighter appears, heading straight toward him. Fear grips James, but he remembers Sarah's words, finding strength in them.

EXT. SKIES ABOVE ENEMY TERRITORY - DAY

James engages the enemy fighter, engaging in a fierce dogfight. Bullets whiz past him, but he maintains his focus, his skills honed through countless missions.

INT. AIRPLANE COCKPIT - DAY

James's plane shudders from a near-miss, smoke filling the cockpit. Fear and doubt threaten to overwhelm him, but he takes a deep breath, remembering his purpose.

JAMES (out loud) I will make it back. I must.

EXT. SKIES ABOVE ENEMY TERRITORY - DAY

James maneuvers his plane, deftly evading enemy fire. With a well-placed shot, he takes down the enemy fighter, the victory surging through his veins.

INT. AIRPLANE COCKPIT - DAY

A smile breaks across James's face, his confidence restored. He adjusts his course, heading back towards home.

EXT. AIRFIELD - DAY

James's plane lands on the airfield, rolling to a stop. The canopy opens, and James climbs out, greeted by cheers from his comrades.

COMMANDER (slapping James's back) Well done, James! You brought us all back.

James looks around, relief and gratitude filling his eyes.

JAMES (with a mix of relief and joy) We did it. We made it back.

Sarah stands in the crowd, her eyes meeting James's. They share a moment of profound understanding and connection.

FADE OUT.

Okay. If this script came from a student, how would I rank it. Note: I am giving the ChatGPT the benefit of the doubt concerning screenplay formatting. I instructed all of my students to use screenplay writing programs like Final Draft or Celtx, so, if ChatGPT attended my class, it would have used the proper formatting. As it stands now, ChatGPT simply doesn't have the ability to write in traditional screenwriting format. (Plus, I can't execute proper screenplay formatting in this blog either!)

1). Protagonist: Description, Motivation, Action. Although James' description was weak, overall it was a adequate portrayal. 2 points.
2). Antagonist/Conflict: Description, Motivation, Action. The conflict was essentially internal, but it was effective. 3 points.
3). Dramatic Structure: Setup, Development & Climax/Resolution. The script was structurally sound with a beginning, middle and end. I would rate it effective. 3 points.
4). Format: Script format was specified by the instructor & text. For reasons I mentioned earlier, I am giving it 4 points.
5). Writing: Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Visual storytelling. It's grammar punctuation and spelling was better than most first drafts I got from my students! That said, ChatGPT did not excel at visual storytelling. 3 points.

Total Score: 15 points. That's a B!

But was it any good? Absolutely not! Although it hit all the marks demanded by the grading rubric, the script was little more than a trite collection of cliches and tropes. The difference between adequate words on a page and great screenwriting is something I call sparkle. ChatGPT didn't come within a mile of sparkle. However, I am happy to report that there was always at least one student in my class that possessed it.

I honestly believe a few of my students had the raw talent needed to become professional screenwriters, if they stuck with it. I am less optimistic about ChatGPT, but there's no denying it would pass my class. 

If I taught today, I suspect a lot of the assignments I would get will have been written by AI and simply reformatted. That's kind of scary when you think about it. How could a teacher possibly guard against that?

I've beaten ChatGPT up quite a bit. Now let's see how Bard would do with the same prompt: "Write a screenplay about a World War II pilot worried about dying on a mission."

Here's the Bard version:

Scene 1

INT. PLANE - DAY

A young pilot, JACK, sits in the cockpit of a World War II fighter plane. He is sweating and his hands are shaking.

JACK (to himself) I can't do this. I can't die.

Scene 2

EXT. SKY - DAY

The plane takes off and soars into the sky. Jack looks down at the ground below and sees the vastness of the ocean. He feels a wave of nausea wash over him.

JACK (to himself) I'm going to die.

Scene 3

INT. PLANE - DAY

Jack looks over at his co-pilot, who is calm and collected.

JACK (to co-pilot) How can you be so calm?

CO-PILOT Because I've done this a hundred times before.

JACK But what if something goes wrong? What if we get shot down?

CO-PILOT Then we die. But that's a risk we all take when we sign up to fly these missions.

JACK I don't want to die.

CO-PILOT No one wants to die, Jack. But sometimes it's a necessary sacrifice.

Jack looks out the window again and sees the enemy ships in the distance. He takes a deep breath and tries to calm his nerves.

JACK I'm ready.

Scene 4

EXT. SKY - DAY

The plane dives towards the enemy ships. Jack opens fire with his machine guns. The enemy ships return fire, but the plane is unharmed.

JACK We're doing it!

Scene 5

INT. PLANE - DAY

The plane flies back to base. Jack and his co-pilot are greeted as heroes.

JACK (to co-pilot) I can't believe we made it.

CO-PILOT I told you you'd be fine.

Jack smiles and shakes his head. He's glad to be alive.

JACK Thank you.

CO-PILOT For what?

JACK For saving my life.

CO-PILOT It was my pleasure.

Jack and his co-pilot walk off the runway, arm in arm. They've survived another mission, and they're both one step closer to home.

Wow. Not as good. No real descriptions. Less detail. Not as accurate. I mean, what kind of fighter was this? There were plenty of World War II two-seater fighters, but I don't think there were any with co-pilots sitting side-by-side. Also, I would have to downgrade the formatting simply because of the scene numbering. Also, how did the Co-Pilot save our hero's life? With the most mediocre pep talk in history? Nah, I don't buy this at all.

Let's grade Bard:

1). Protagonist: Description, Motivation, Action. Lackluster portrayal. 1 point.
2). Antagonist/Conflict: Description, Motivation, Action. Lackluster. 1 point.
3). Dramatic Structure: Setup, Development & Climax/Resolution. It had a beginning middle and end, but it was utterly uncompelling and the resolution felt unearned. 2 points.
4). Format: Script format was specified by the instructor & text. For reasons I mentioned earlier, I am giving the program the benefit of the doubt. However, I am downgrading it one point for the inappropriate scene numbering. 3 points.
5). Writing: Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Visual storytelling. Grammar punctuation and spelling were fine. No attempt at  visual storytelling. 3 points.

Total Score: 10 points. That's still a C!

Bard would pass my class too. Yikes. That's scary.

Final Thoughts. Neither story rose to the sparkle level. Not even close. I didn't find anything really compelling or genuinely heartfelt in either of them. I think the programs will eventually be able to generate compelling plots, but I don't see the beginning of true human characterization in them yet. Compelling characters speak to our deepest needs and concerns. We want to see ourselves in the story. That's the talent great writers provide.   

My old creative director at the advertising agency Smith Burke & Azzam, Jeff Millman, had a little placard on his desk which read: Who Cares? If you handed him a script that he didn't find compelling, he would simply point to it.

I know where Jeff would be pointing if he read these scripts.....

Still, the current abilities of ChatGPT are somewhat disconcerting. Still, many of my creative friends console themselves because they say the program cannot come up with the initial ideas. We'll see about that in an upcoming blog!



My novel Chapel Street is now available! You can buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & NobleChapel Street is the tale of a young man battling a demonic entity that has driven members of his family to suicide for generations. It was inspired by an actual haunting. 


Learn more about the book, click Here.

Listen to me read some chapters here:


Read about the true haunting that inspired the novel here:

The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 1, An Introduction
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 2, The House
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 3, This Is Us
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 4, Arrival
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 5, Methodology
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 6, Clara's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 7, Clara's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 8, My Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 9, My Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 10, My Tale, Pt. 3
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 11, Natalia's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 12, Natalia's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 13, John's Tale, Pt. 1 
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 14, John's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 15, Come Inside!
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 16, Marion's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 17, Marion's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 18, Jeanne's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 19, Jeanne's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 20, Lisa's Tale
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 21, Recap, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 22, Recap, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 23, Recap, Pt. 3

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