I am awfully quick to give advice about screenwriting in this blog. And some people actually accept it. The funny thing is that none of those people have ever read any of my scripts! They might have seen one of my films, but, with a finished film, it is difficult to say who contributed what. Therefore, to help people decide whether my writing advice is any good, I am posting some pages for your pleasure and perusal.
Inspired by the three-page challenges on the Scriptnotes podcast by John August and Craig Mazin, I have decided to post the opening of some of my scripts in a series of blogs. However, rather than three pages, I am going with five pages because I feel that will provide a more accurate appraisal of my writing and the stories. I am not posting the scripts of any of my produced films. That would be complicated legally since those scripts now belong to their respective production companies. Nor am I posting any script currently under option for the same reason. These scripts are either new or part of my back catalog. Some are ready to be pitched. Others need a little polishing. But you can read the first five pages now.
This sample is from my screenplay I, John. The screenplay was inspired by a Biblical passage I always found very intriguing. It's from John 21:20-22: Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, "Lord, who is going to betray you?") When Peter saw him, he asked, "Lord, what about him?" Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me."
I always thought it would be great to write a script about that possibility, but what to do with John? Where would he be? What would he be doing? I realized one thing: If John were in Europe in 1940s, he would have been swept up in the Holocaust. I decided to pursue that concept. I thought it would make a compelling story and a great statement against the anti-Semitism which still lurks in the dark corners of the church. (Of course, I didn't set the film in Europe during the Holocaust, because I wanted to shoot it in Baltimore.)
The script proved very successful. It began my career in faith-based movies. I had seen it to the ultimate-hyphenate David A.R. White. He loved the script, but didn't want to make the film because it didn't have a role for him. Instead, he hired me to write the film Hidden Secrets, which did have a role for him. The script was later a 2012 winner of the $50,000 Kairos Prize for Screenwriting. It was 2nd runner up. I got $10,000, and an all-expense paid trip to Hollywood for the ceremony. Here I am winning the award.
The script remained optioned for many years. Sadly during the development process, the script went through some changes I felt fatally damaged the story. When the option came up for renewal, I demurred. I have subsequently restored the script to my original concept. None of the changes remain.
Here's the logline:
An obscure comment by Jesus Christ led many to believe the apostle John would survive until the Second Coming. "I, John" addresses that possibility when cryptic statements made by a homeless holocaust survivor while under anesthesia in a hospital starts a chain reaction of speculation that he might indeed be the beloved disciple. This uplifting fantasy was a winner of the Kairos Prize.Here are the first five pages:
Here's a bonus page that shows how our two leads come together:
I hope you enjoyed those first five six pages. You can read the whole script here:
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 2, The House
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 3, This Is Us
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 4, Arrival
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 5, Methodology
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 6, Clara's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 7, Clara's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 8, My Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 9, My Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 10, My Tale, Pt. 3
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 11, Natalia's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 12, Natalia's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 13, John's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 14, John's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 15, Come Inside!
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 16, Marion's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 17, Marion's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 18, Jeanne's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 19, Jeanne's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 20, Lisa's Tale
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 21, Recap, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 22, Recap, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 23, Recap, Pt. 3
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