I am awfully quick to give advice about screenwriting in this blog. And some people actually accept it. The funny thing is that none of those people have ever read any of my scripts! They might have seen one of my films, but, with a finished film, it is difficult to say who contributed what. Therefore, to help people decide whether my writing advice is any good, I am posting some pages for your pleasure and perusal.
Inspired by the three-page challenges on the Scriptnotes podcast by John August and Craig Mazin, I have decided to post the opening of some of my scripts in a series of blogs. However, rather than three pages, I am going with five pages because I feel that will provide a more accurate appraisal of my writing and the stories. I am not posting the scripts of any of my produced films. That would be complicated legally since those scripts now belong to their respective production companies. Nor am I posting any script currently under option for the same reason. These scripts are either new or part of my back catalog. Some are ready to be pitched. Others need a little polishing. But you can read the first five pages now.
West Rhodes is the first script I wrote with my friend director Lee Bonner, who ultimately co-wrote and directed my first produced feature 21 Eyes. When I met Lee Bonner, he was a top commercial director and a budding director of episodic primetime dramas. He had also been an RCA recording artist with his band The Lafayettes. Their most famous song was Life's Too Short. Here it is:
The band was more popular abroad than it was in the United States. The Beatles used to cover Lee's song Nobody But You during their days in the clubs. (Paul sang it.) I remember reading an interview with Robert Plant where he mentioned another one of their recordings. I immediately called Lee and told him about it. Lee's response: "Who's Robert Plant?"
Lee had previously directed a low budget featured called Two For The Money, which was ultimately released by Troma as The Adventure of the Action Hunters, featuring a fabulous supporting performance by former Baltimore Colts great Artie Donovan. (Interesting, the leading lady of the film was named Sean Murphy -- not to be confused with yours truly.) The film was about a cocktail-loving man who lives on a boat on the Chesapeake who becomes entangled in a mystery and treasure hunt. Here's the trailer:
Not surprisingly, Lee wasn't satisfied with the release of the film. He was aiming a little higher than Troma. He wanted to try again and he already knew who the film was about: A carefree Maryland State water cop named West Rhodes who becomes entangled in a murder mystery. (Lee got the name was a newly-born nephew.*) He wanted and a co-writer, and that's where I came into the picture.
I had known Lee for years. He was the top commercial director in the Mid-Atlantic area and I was a boy producer at Smith Burke & Azzam, one of the top advertising agencies in the area at the time. When I left the agency and became a freelance film editor, Lee became one of my top clients. However, he didn't view me as a writer until my screenplays, The Long Drive, won the praise of Baltimore's own Academy Award winner Barry Levinson. Barry called me "a very good writer." That was all Lee needed to hear.
Lee invited me out for the day on his sailboat, along with producer David Butler. I'm not much of a drinker, but the first thing Lee did was make me am industrial-sized martini. Then he asked me to read his notes and thoughts for the story and character while he and David sailed the ship around the Chesapeake. I loved the idea and I said I would be happy to write it with him. During that trip, I also began my tradition of losing something overboard -- my glasses, my wallet, my phone, etc. -- every time I got on one of his boats.
I loved the final script, but, sadly, Lee decided that it wasn't viable as an independent film at the time because of the expense of shooting so much action on the water. Lee and I followed that script up with a few others. They tended to be mysteries that leaned heavily into characters and humor. That's my wheelhouse.
Hopefully one day we'll get it made.
Here's a brief synopsis:
Meet West Rhodes, marine police; his beat, the waterways surrounding the gold coast of Annapolis, a cop who gives warning tickets to girls so he can ask them on dates and confiscates beer from teenagers so he can drink it.
Then one day, West discovers the body of a man hung by the ankles with his head submerged in the Severn river, left there at mean low water to die a slow death on the incoming tide.
The case is assigned to detectives Burger and Frye, spare them the witticisms, they’ve suffered enough. Fate brought them to the department at the same time and no Lieutenant could resist pairing them as a team.
But West knows something they don’t know, a secret from his own past that links the victim to a previous crime. Soon West, conspiring with ex-girlfriend and local newshound Joey Bliss, finds himself up to his neck in multiple homicide, and a case that will change his life forever.
*BTW, the real West Rhodes, whose name inspired the character, has grown up and actually became a water cop!
Here are the first five pages:
I hope you enjoyed those first five pages. Here's the trailer for the film we made together:
You can read about the making of the film here:
21 Eyes, A History, Part 1
21 Eyes, A History, Part 2
21 Eyes, A History, Part 3
21 Eyes, A History, Part 4
21 Eyes, About That Nude Scene....
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 2, The House
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 3, This Is Us
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 4, Arrival
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 5, Methodology
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 6, Clara's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 7, Clara's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 8, My Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 9, My Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 10, My Tale, Pt. 3
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 11, Natalia's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 12, Natalia's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 13, John's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 14, John's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 15, Come Inside!
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 16, Marion's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 17, Marion's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 18, Jeanne's Tale, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 19, Jeanne's Tale, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 20, Lisa's Tale
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 21, Recap, Pt. 1
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 22, Recap, Pt. 2
The Haunting of 21 St. Helens Avenue, Part 23, Recap, Pt. 3
