The musings of Sean Paul Murphy: Editor, Producer, Screenwriter, Author. Or, Hollywood -- and beyond -- as seen from an odd little corner of northeast Baltimore, Maryland.
I posted about my wedding on previous occasions, but this time I am embedding all of the current links to our two weddings.
Why did my lovely wife Deborah and myself get married twice? Because we lost control of the situation. We had already set a date, but we couldn't decide whether we wanted to have a small wedding in Las Vegas, or a larger, more traditional wedding in Baltimore. We were ultimately leaning toward the more traditional wedding in Baltimore, but, much to our chagrin, we discovered people were already buying their plane tickets to Vegas. Hence the two weddings. I don't regret either one.
Here's the behind the scenes footage of the Las Vegas. Look at the couple! Have you ever seen anyone more in love?
Here's the video of the actual ceremony itself:
A week later we had another ceremony at Stillmeadow Community Fellowship for the non-gamblers. I do not regret having two weddings. This gave a lot of our friends and family who couldn't travel to Las Vegas the opportunity to share our joy. Here's the ceremony:
Finally, here is footage from the Baltimore wedding reception. It is bittersweet for me to watch it since we lost so many of the people in the subsequent twenty-three years. Even my friend who shot it, Tom Brandau, is gone.
Here's the footage:
Who else has a bride who played the drums in her wedding dress? She's the coolest! You really hear me singing my song that day, so here it is:
Any regrets? About getting married? Absolutely not. I would marry her again -- twice. Have we had some rocky moments? Sure, every couple does, but, ultimately I believe the strength of a marriage is best measured during hardship.
I love you, Debbie. Thanks for the best twenty-three years of my life!
Here's two more exciting ZOOM editions of the Yippee-Ki-Yay Mother Podcast, a lively discussion of the movies that sometimes devolves into a group therapy session.
We immerse ourselves even deeper in the world of cricket when we watch Jersey, about a highly-skilled player who quits the game for inexplicable reasons, but turns to become a hero in the eyes of his son. We reviewed the 2019 version of the film, but, as is typical for many Indian films, it was remade in another language in 2022. Check out our review:
We continue our courtroom series with the quirky 1979drama And Justice For All.... Al Pacino gives one of his classic performances in this film directed by Norman Jewison and written by Valerie Curtin and Baltimore's own Barry Levinson. Check out our review and see if we're out of order!
My novel Chapel Street is now available! You can currently buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & Noble.
I think it is nearly impossible to be a Baltimorean of my generation and not love Brooks Robinson.
Brooks was my one true sports idol. I'm not going to get into his stats. It's not about stats -- even though they were amazing. To me, what Brooks Robinson embodied was the sheer love of baseball, and he shared it with anyone who saw him play.
I remember watching an Orioles game on television with my aunt Sharon. I said I liked watching baseball on television better than in person because the camera let you see everything. My aunt strongly disagreed. She said, "When you go in person you can watch Brooks all the time, not just when the camera's on him." She was right. And, I have to admit it, whenever my father took me to a Junior Orioles game, my eyes were always fixed on third base. You could always count on seeing him make an amazing catch, but, more interestingly, he always seemed to know where the ball would go. He had an encyclopedic knowledge of batters and pitchers which helped make him a perennial golden glove.
After college, my first career was in the advertising business. I loved the work, but one thing frustrated me: I had never met Brooks Robinson. It seemed like everyone in the Baltimore advertising or media community had met Brooks Robinson except me! Everyone had stories about him. (I never heard a bad one!) I complained about my lack of Brooks all the time to the annoyance of my colleagues.
One day I went to Producers Video for a rare audio session. (I'm a video guy.) The earlier session was running late so had to wait in the lobby. I sat down on the sofa and started reading the newspaper. Before long, someone came in and sat down right beside me. He was close -- it was a two seat sofa -- but I never looked away from the newspaper. About fifteen minutes later, the audio engineer came down and said he was ready. When I followed him back upstairs, he said, "Well, you can't complain about not meeting Brooks Robinson anymore."
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"You were sitting right next to him," he answered.
I immediately ran back down to the lobby, but Brooks was already gone. He was in the studio, and I didn't want to bother him there.
Crap!
So, I never did officially meet Brooks Robinson, but I did get sit to next to him for about fifteen minutes.
That still counts for the bucket list.
Rest in peace, Mr. Robinson. You were the best third basement who ever lived, and, by all reports, a great guy.
I recommend taking a deep dive on Brooks on YouTube. Here's a good place to start:
My novel Chapel Street is now available! You can currently buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & Noble.
I am awfully quick to give advice about screenwriting in this blog. And some people actually accept it. The funny thing is that none of those people have ever read any of my scripts! They might have seen one of my films, but, with a finished film, it is difficult to say who contributed what. Therefore, to help people decide whether my writing advice is any good, I am posting some pages for your pleasure and perusal.
Inspired by the three-page challenges on the Scriptnotes podcast by John August and Craig Mazin, I have decided to post the opening of some of my scripts in a series of blogs. However, rather than three pages, I am going with five pages because I feel that will provide a more accurate appraisal of my writing and the stories. I am not posting the scripts of any of my produced scripts. That would be complicated legally since those scripts now belong to their respective production companies. Nor am I posting any script currently under option for the same reason. These scripts are either new or part of my back catalog. Some are ready to be pitched. Others need a little polishing. But you can read the first five pages now.
This is a sample of my script Candido. The script was inspired by my friend, the late Michelle Proimos. When she lived in Queens, New York, Michelle was the book keeper for a mob-owned restaurant supply company. She noticed that the ledgers never added up correctly. Some of their customers never paid, and that was fine with the owners, who told her to forget about them. However, "the nephews" were sent out to collect when other customers didn't pay in a timely manner. The nephews always returned with the money, usually in cash. That said, everyone was always very nice to her.
Her stories inspired me to this script about an aging mafioso who tries to change his life after falling in love with the recently-divorced manager of a nearby supermarket. Technically speaking, this screenplay was the second story in an intended mafia trilogy centered around my fictional Semenza Family. It is an oddball trilogy because the stories are totally unrelated, but they all take place in the same criminal universe. The only common character would be Pete Ricco, a grandfatherly figure who is deceptively calculating and vicious. Pete would appear as a key supporting character in all three films. I have already featured the first part of the trilogy: Mr. Inside. The third part has been written yet.
Around this time, I stopped writing for market. I was writing to test myself. In this case, I wanted to write a crime film where you didn't hear a gunshot until the third act. In other words, I wanted to sell the story through character only rather than action. I believe I succeeded, although I suspect most people who like mob films want gunshots throughout!
This was the last script I sent to my agent Stu Robinson. He liked the script, but he didn't think it had a shot. He thought it was too serious for the then current marketplace. He was familiar with the upcoming Billy Crystal mob comedy Analyze This and the upcoming series The Sopranos (which he thought would be played more for laughs.) He thought Hollywood was only in the mood for mob comedies.
The legendary casting director/producer Lou Digiaimo, who worked on The Godfather films, requested to read the script. I had a fascinating discussion with him. He really liked the script, but he said it could never get made since the leads were older people. He said the only way Candido could get financed was if Al Pacino agreed to do it. No one else could get it greenlight. I, in my ignorance, disagreed completely with him. To illustrate his point, he told me he optioned a critically-acclaimed off Broadway about four older women that no one would touch -- despite the fact that four Oscar winning actresses were already signed on.
Here's the logline:
A mid-level capo in a Queens crime family, Kenneth "Candido" Provanti, has lived without dreams or hopes since the death of his wife and son in an attack aimed at him two decades earlier. A chance meeting with Angie DeMarco, the newly-divorced manager of the local supermarket, changes everything. Their blossoming love finally gives him the courage to confront his past and pay the price fate demands for his long life of violence. Mr. Kenneth is a love story about second chances set against a dark world of violence and intrigue, where greed and a lust for power blur the line between friends and enemies.
Here are the first five pages:
I hope you enjoyed those first five pages!
You can read the rest of the script on Coverfly here: Candido
My novel Chapel Street is now available! You can buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & Noble. Chapel Street is the tale of a young man battling a demonic entity that has driven members of his family to suicide for generations. It was inspired by an actual haunting.
Here's two more exciting ZOOM editions of the Yippee-Ki-Yay Mother Podcast, a lively discussion of the movies that sometimes devolves into a group therapy session.
A Supercop tries to catch a clever gang of criminals who steal illegal, unreported cash from corrupt politicians and businessman in Special 26 while posing as law enforcement or government officials. There's many a twist and turn before the end of this caper film. Check out our review:
We continue our courtroom series with the 1954 World War II classic The Caine Mutiny, starring Humphrey Bogart, Van Johnson, Jose Ferrer and Fred MacMurray. Will the film live up to its legendary status, or will the romantic subplot sink the film before it gets started? Watch and find out:
My novel Chapel Street is now available! You can currently buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & Noble.
I'm blessed. I believe I have succeeded in every creative endeavor to which I applied myself. Except as a songwriter.
I am (currently) a failed songwriter.
I knew I was never going to be a rock star. I am a mediocre player at best and my voice, which was previously terrible, is now completely shot. However, I always had a dream that one day a credible musician -- someone who charted -- would record one of my songs. I did come close. I once accepted a writing assignment for a western that was to star a very well-known country singer. I only took the job because I would have loved to have written a theme song for the film with the singer. Sadly, the project fell through. On another occasion, the lead singer and songwriter of a band I really love offered to produce a couple of tracks for me, but, in an utterly uncharacteristic display of modesty, I chickened out.
I guess it doesn't matter one way or another. I didn't write songs to sell them. To me, songwriting was therapy. I was inspired to play the guitar after watching two of my friends, Mike Lane and Ed Neenan, sing a bunch of Beatles songs late one night at a party. At the time, I was in the midst of a suicidal downward spiral after the breakup of a five year relationship. (Read my memoir: The Promise.) Watching every girl in the place gather around them as they played gave me hope. My mother had an acoustic guitar that was difficult to keep in tune because it had a warped neck, but I applied myself since I had nothing better to do. By the time I learned a few chords, I was writing songs. It was great therapy. I was able to pour out all of my longing, sorrow and anger in music.
The next thing I needed was a band. Fortunately, two of my friends, Jim Jackson and Mike Mazziott, and I were in the process of quitting a cult at the time (Amway) and still wanted to hang out. I suggested we form a band. I was already playing the guitar. Jim offered to play bass. Mike offered to sing. For a drummer, Mike recruited his high school age but surprisingly talented brother Nick Mazziott. (Nick could play the guitar better than me, play the bass better than Jim and sing better than Mike. He is now a trombonist for a symphony!)
Sean, Mike, Jim
The Atomic Enema was born. So why the angry name? First, it accurately reflected the level of talent of three quarters of the band. Secondly, before long Jim and Mike would soon join me on break-up highway. That led to a lot of angry macho posturing in both our original songs and the covers we played. Being in this band helped with my therapy. Now I could perform my songs, but, since I wasn't the singer, I didn't have to bear the psychological weight of the words. Everyone always assumes the singer writes the songs. Once, a girlfriend Mike brought around, asked me if Mike had written a certain song about her. I said yes, of course. She seemed pleased. That surprised me. I don't know why anyone would want to think any of those songs were written about them!
Well, for reference purposes only, here's my first clumsy attempt of songwriting. Pure heartbreak and angst from the spring of 1983.
LYING AWAKE
Words and Music By
Sean Paul Murphy
Chord Progression:
Verses: G/D/F/C/A - G/D/F/C/D
Chorus: F/C/G/C/A
Lying awake, thinking of you, so far away, what can I do?
Here I am, here all alone, waiting for you, to come back home.
CHORUS:
What can I say to make you understand? That I love you more than I can stand.
My days are empty since you went away. Oh how I wish that you could stay.
Love can be good, I know that it can. and that’s what I need to feel again.
The beat of your heart, the depth of your soul, to love you again is my only goal.
REPEAT CHORUS:
Lying awake, going insane, now that you’re gone, all I have is pain.
Send me a letter, give me all, ‘cause without you girl, I’m nothing at all.
REPEAT CHORUS:
Look at those simple chords! I know I wrote this song within a week or two of picking up the guitar. There was never a recording of the song for good reason, but here I am singing it:
That song pretty summed up the mournful, longing heartbreak side of me. My very next song took another approach entirely: Defiance and anger. Here it is:
MAYBE I WAS CRAZY
Words and Music By
Sean Paul Murphy
[C] Maybe I was [F] crazy – [C] crazy to [F] believe
[C] Maybe I was [F] lazy – [C] lazy and [F] naïve
[Em] But now [Am] I know [F] what I didn’t[G7] then
[Em] That all [Am] her loving [F] must come to an [G7] end
[F] Must come to an [G7] end
Maybe I was crazy – when I looked into her eyes
Maybe I was blinded – blinded to her lies
But now – I’ve learned – not to give her trust
Because – with her – heartbreak is a must
Heartbreak is a must
Maybe I was crazy – I know I wasn’t smart
Maybe I was foolish – foolish with my heart
But now my eyes are open – now I can see
That the woman – made a fool of me
Made a fool of me
Maybe I was crazy – crazy to believe
Maybe I was lazy – lazy and naïve
But now – I know – what I didn’t then
That all – her loving – must come to an end
Must come to an end
Here I am singing the song:
Well, that about sums up the ying and the yang of romantic break-ups: Sorrow and bitterness. It was easier to write the bitter songs, since the sorrowful ones required more emotional maturity and transparency. Being young and immature, I was only willing to expose myself so much....
About a month or two later, soon after we started the band, I wrote my anthem of false male break-up bravado: When You're Dead. I clearly remember it's beginning. We were practicing in the Mazziott basement. I was jumping up and down on their sofa strumming the guitar and the opening words came to me. I wrote the song the next day. (And, no, guys, this was not the time I was jumping on the sofa after stepping in a big pile of dog poop outside. That was later.)
WHEN YOU'RE DEAD
Words and Music by
Sean Paul Murphy
Chord Progression
A/F#m/E/D/A ‑ D/A/E/D/A + Variation at bridge
When you're dead‑ when you're dead
I'll be happy‑ when you're dead
When you're dead‑ when you're dead
I'll be happy‑ when you're dead
I don't mean‑ to make you cry
But listen baby‑ you're gonna die
I don't want you‑ to explain
'Cause pretty soon‑ you'll feel the pain
CHORUS:
You can't deny you made a fool of me
You broke my heart without pity
I warned you not to fool around
So now I've got to put you under the ground
When you're dead‑ when you're dead
I'll be happy‑ when you're dead
When you're dead‑ when you're dead
I'll be happy‑ when you're dead
Don't you know‑ I'm a nasty guy
I'm mean enough‑ to watch you die
I can't tell you‑ when it'll be
But I'll get you‑ just wait and see
REPEAT CHORUS:
BRIDGE:
When‑ you're‑ dead‑ dear‑ I won't even shed a tear
When‑ you're‑ dead‑ dear‑ I won't even shed a tear
REFRAIN:
When you're dead‑ when you're dead
I'll be happy‑ when you're dead....
It is definitely my most memorable song. I'm not joking when I say that. Quite a few people who heard me play it once twenty, thirty or even nearly forty years ago remember it. When people who know me see me with a guitar in my hand, they ask me to play that song. I am always happy to oblige, despite the fact that I'm more sensitive now. I know the lyrics can be triggering for someone who experienced domestic violence, but, hey, I sing it with a smile.
Here I am singing a sensitive, folkie acoustic version of it:
I took piano lessons as a kid but never really progressed beyond sight reading. I never learned music theory. The world of music finally opened up to me when I bought the 1984 Elvis compilation album Rocker. (Mike was a big Elvis fan. He always wanted to sing Elvis songs.) That's when I discovered something: The songs were all the same!
I discovered that a few simple chord progressions formed the basis of thousands of songs. (The comedy troupe the Axis of Awesome did a great routine about that. Check it out HERE.) Once I learned the twelve-bar blues progression, and the prerequisite B7 chord, there was no looking back. In my then current state of mind, I could write a new blues song every day. Here's my favorite one from that period:
I'M WALKING
Words and Music by
Sean Paul Murphy
Traditional 12 Bar Blues Progression in E.
I want you baby‑ to understand
That you just lost your man
'Cause I'm walking‑ just walking away
I won't be back‑ no matter what you say
I warned you baby‑ to get off my back
But now you're lovin' man he isn't coming back
'Cause I'm walking‑ just walking away
I won't be back‑ no matter what you say
Now that I'm free‑ I want you to know
I got things to do and places to go
And I'm walking‑ just walking away
I won't be back‑ no matter what you say
Pretty girls‑ are everywhere
And I can bet you that I'll get my share
And I'm walking‑ just walking away
I won't be back‑ no matter what you say
My ambitions‑ can now come true
Now that I'm not hampered with you
'Cause I'm walking‑ just walking away
And I won't be back‑ no matter what you say
Yes, I rhymed back with back. That's what kind of guy I was! Here's The Atomic Enema playing the song live in the Mazziott basement on 11 May 1986:
This is actually my seconded most requested song. To prove it, here's someone asking me to sing it at a party while I was busy butchering a Beach Boys song:
Talk about all twelve-bar blues songs being the same....
When I posted this clip on YouTube I got a copyright hit. I thought it was because I was singing I Hear Music by the Beach Boys at the start of the clip. When I clicked on the violation, it wasn't about the Beach Boys song. They said I'm Walking stole the melody of a song called Tight Spot, which I had never heard. I disputed the copyright claim. I said I wrote the song in 1985 and sent them a clip of The Atomic Enema playing it in 1986. The label subsequently dropped the claim. (I hear that rarely happens!)
I'm actually quite proud of this next song. It's a 'fifties style up-tempo ballad. I thought it really captured the emotion I was striving to reach. Around the time I wrote it, I played it for a country songwriter I knew from the advertising business. (She had just gotten a song on a Conway Twitty album.) She said she really liked it. That was the first and last validation I got for my songwriting from a genuine professional.
THE SOUND OF A LONELY HEART
Words and Music by
Sean Paul Murphy
Verses: A/F#m/D/E7
Chorus: A/C#m/D/E7/A/E7
Three o'clock in the morning ‑ its too early for bed
With the thoughts I'm thinking ‑ running through my head
I try to turn my mind off ‑ I try with all my might
But all I ever end up with is ‑ another sleepless night
CHORUS:
Stop babe‑ can't you hear the sound of a lonely heart
Its been that way ever since we've been apart
Stop babe‑ can't you hear the sound of a lonely heart
It's been that way ever since we've been apart
I heard a song on the radio ‑ a song we listened to
And though I changed the channel ‑ my heart went out to you
So many songs have different meanings ever since you closed the door
Now there are so many songs I can't listen to no more
REPEAT CHORUS:
Late at night I miss the warmth of your soft embrace
Something is now missing ‑ something's out of place
I wish that I could call you ‑ just to share a word or two
But you left me here all alone ‑ there ain't nothing I can do
REPEAT CHORUS:
I couldn't find an adequate recording so here I am:
Here's another song from the same period which reflected my ongoing depression. Once again, song writing as therapy. It proved a way to express feeling I wouldn't necessarily discuss in a conversation.
THE VOID
Words and Music By
Sean Paul Murphy
Inside I feel an emptiness – a void I cannot hide
Inside I feel a hunger – a need I can’t deny
I can mask it with a smile – when the sun is burning bright
But emptiness engulfs me – when I’m alone at night
I thought that in your arms – that I could find my rest
But the love we shared was flawed – it failed to pass the test
Selfishness and frailties – on both of our parts
Snatched away the happiness – there was in my heart
I search through all the pleasures that the world has to give
But it left me with a life that I didn’t want to live
There must be something more that I have yet to try
There must be something more than living ‘til you die
I thought that in your arms – that I could find my rest
But the love we shared was flawed – it failed to pass the test
Selfishness and frailties – on both of our parts
Snatched away the happiness – there was in my heart
Here I am singing the song. It was a rocker, but my voice couldn't handle it as originally intended so it is a little mellower.
This next song also originated in Mazziott basement. We were waiting for Nick, who was running late because he was practicing for a folk mass at Archbishop Curley High School. He came home with this great chord progression for one of the songs they were learning. He showed it to me, and I loved it. The wrote the words the next day.
Nick, Mike Sean, Jim
TELL ME
Words and Music By
Sean Paul Murphy and Nicholas Mazziott
Chord Progression
D/Gbm7/D7/G/Em/A7/D + HALF STEP INCREASE
We both ‑ have reasons ‑ to walk away ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?
Why should we struggle ‑ another day ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?
Tell me why I should ‑ remain true ‑ tell me ‑ what should I do?
But where could I find someone ‑ as special as you ‑ tell me ‑ what should I do?
But you gave me something ‑ that you can't deny‑ should we ‑ let it die?
Sometimes I see it ‑ still in your eyes ‑ should we ‑ let it die?
We both have reasons ‑ to walk away ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?
Why should we struggle ‑ another day ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?
Maybe things aren't as hopeless ‑ as they seem today ‑ tell me ‑ what do you say?
Does love have the power ‑ to wash pain away ‑ tell me ‑ what do you say.
Well, my love ‑ what do you say?
I played the song to the guys the next week. The response was silence. Finally, Jim said, "Sean, that's a really good song. We can't do that. Maybe you should get in another band." Nonsense! The whole point of the band was to hang out with my friends. We were all growing together.
Still... At the time a radio station, 98 Rock, was put out a request for local songs for an album they were doing. We decided to try to record Tell Me. Jim worked at an advertising agency where he met a guy who offered to produce us. He listened to the song. He liked the song, but thought it was missing something and suggested me do a key change for the last verse. (That was our first.) We all learned our parts. Then we recorded it in the basement studio of another one of Jim's co-workers, Tommy Tate, who also added keyboards. We spent all night getting the instrumental parts perfect, then we ran out of time. Mike only had one take to record the vocals, and, let's just say the result wasn't John Lennon one-taking Twist and Shout.
One of our basement hootenanies
Oh well. I think I have a cassette of the song somewhere around here, but no digital recording. Here's my wife Deborah singing it, with Nick on the bass and yours truly on the guitar.
By the way, the producer was right. The song was missing something. Subsequent to that recording, I added a bridge inspired by an old Gospel blues song. I think it's much better now.
TELL ME 2.0
Words and Music By
Sean Paul Murphy & Nicholas Mazziott
We both ‑ have reasons ‑ to walk away ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?
Why should we struggle ‑ another day ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?
Tell me why I should ‑ remain true ‑ tell me ‑ what should I do?
But where could I find someone ‑ as special as you ‑ tell me ‑ what should I do?
But you gave me something ‑ that you can't deny‑ should we ‑ let it die?
Sometimes I see it ‑ still in your eyes ‑ should we ‑ let it die?
Bridge:
[G] Dark was the [A] night, [G] cold was the [A] ground
[Em] Blind now I [A] stumble, [G] when you’re not [D] around
We both have reasons ‑ to walk away ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?
Why should we struggle ‑ another day ‑ tell me ‑ why do I stay?
Maybe things aren't as hopeless ‑ as they seem today ‑ tell me ‑ what do you say
Does love have the power ‑ to wash pain away ‑ tell me ‑ what do you say.
Well, my love ‑ what do you say?
Here I am singing it:
BTW, around this time we briefly changed the name of the band to The New Catholics because we didn't think anyone would take a band called The Atomic Enema seriously. We changed it back because, well, who wouldn't want to be in a band called The Atomic Enema?
I wasn't the only songwriter in the group. Bassist Jim Jackson also wrote. Here's a song I helped him with:
WILL YOU BRING YOUR LOVE AROUND?
Words and Music by
Jim Jackson and Sean Paul Murphy
What do you think‑ you don't seem to care
You acted like I wasn't there
Tell me baby‑ what do I lack
'Cause I just may want you back
CHORUS:
What is that you want from me
can't you see how you're treating me?
Now that you have brought me down
Will you bring your love around?
Baby you leave me‑ all alone
I can't even get you on the phone
Is this now‑ the final break
Is it time to hold the wake
REPEAT CHORUS:
Decision time‑ is here
It's time to face our fears
Time to abandon‑ all of the lies
If our love is worth a try
REPEAT CHORUS:
What you sow‑ is what you reap
And I'm not sure our love will keep
The time has come‑ to make a stand
'Cause I've done all I can
REPEAT CHORUS:
Here we are performing it:
The song was very punk. In retrospect, that's a route I wish we had taken. I think we had the skills necessary to be an angry punk band. We certainly had the name for it!
Rick Parker, Mark Elmore, Yours Truly, David Butler playing the main ballroom at the Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino back in the 1980s.
Of course, I kept writing blues songs. Here's one of my favorites. It's a little more musically sophisticated, but every bit as bitter and self-pitying as I'm Walking.
COLD AS STEEL
Words and Music By
Sean Paul Murphy
Traditional 12-Bar Blues in E.
My baby's got a knife ‑ she uses it with ease
Just a twist of her wrist and she brings me to my knees
Baby likes to smile ‑ when she makes me groan
'Cause with that knife of her's she cuts me to the bone
And she's cold - Cold to feel - She's cold as steel
Give her lots of money ‑ all I can provide
But something about that girl of mine she makes me want to hide
My baby she's too mean ‑ she doesn't treat me nice
And anytime I complain my heart she starts to slice
And she's cold - Cold to feel - She's cold as steel
Baby likes to rip ‑ baby likes to tear
And that ain't the kind of life I thought that we would share
How I fell in love ‑ I will never know
But now I see that girl of mine I've got to make her go
'Cause she's cold - Cold to feel - She's cold as steel
Here's Deborah, Nick and myself playing it:
This is a pretty little song I wrote after learning the Travis strum finger-picking style. Here's the lyrics.
TIME CAN'T TAKE IT AWAY
Words and Music By
Sean Paul Murphy
Chord Progression
Ga9/Ca9/Ga9/Em/C/D/Ga9 ‑ Bm/Em/Bm/Em/C/Am/D/D7
Once the horizon appeared so bright but darkness filled the sky
Once my days were filled with light before you said goodbye
CHORUS:
Love can be gone and know that's true but still my thoughts are of you
and time can't change the way I feel about the time I shared with you
I saw the sun fall out of the sky never again to shine
And against all odds I know I'll have to try to again make you mine
REPEAT CHORUS:
The stars and heavens fell from above as the earth seemed to pass away
That's how I feel when I think about love a love that couldn't stay
REPEAT CHORUS:
With the winter wind there came a chill that cut me to the bone
But the winter wind just can't compare to the feeling of being alone
REPEAT CHORUS:
Time can't change the way I feel, no time can't take it away
I'm a little too sloppy to play and sing it at the same time, so I had to double track myself. Here it is:
Here's another melancholy song I wrote but I don't think that I even presented it to the band. By then Jim and Mike had both married, and I don't think they wanted to keep singing about my ex. Still, I had a few more songs about her in me.
MAYBE ONE DAY
Words and Music by
Sean Paul Murphy
I… loved a girl, loved a girl
But now she’s gone, now she’s gone
Where… did she go, did she go?
The girl I loved, where did she go?
Maybe one day, she’ll remember
All the love that we shared
And maybe the day, she remembers
Maybe that day, she’ll care…. she'll care....
I… miss you girl, miss you girl
What did I do, girl, what did I do?
Come… back to me, back to me
I love you, girl, can you come back to me?
You know I can’t live without you
I never guessed I’d have to try
You took my heart my soul my feelings
You left me cold and dead inside – I'm dead inside
I… need you, girl, need you girl
Without you, girl, there’s nothing in my world
Come… home to me, home to me
I’m here a-waiting, girl, come home to me
Maybe one day, you’ll remember
All the love that we shared
And maybe the day, you remember
Maybe that day, you’ll care…. I hope you care
Eventually, I matured a bit. I accepted my romantic loss and wished my ex the best. The following song exemplified that attitude. Musically, it is much more sophisticated. I even used the "chord cliche."
[C#m] Sometimes still I [Bm] wish I passed [A] the test
Katherine, oh Katherine
Enjoy your life
Even if you aren’t my wife
Oh Katherine, oh Katherine
My heart’s still true
I still have time for a friend like you
Katherine, Oh Katherine, my blue eyed girl
Here I am singing it:
As the eighties wound to a close, and my bandmates got married and had children, I felt little need to write anymore songs. However, when I finally starting dating again in the nineties, the need to write songs re-emerged. The songs, most of which began as poems, served as a diary of my romantic ups-and-downs. I'll discuss that in my next blog in this series.
Now that I am a happily married man, I write few songs. Instead, I turn my attention to longer form writing like screenplays or novels. However, one tragedy made me take out my guitar again. While my wife Deborah headed to her job at the National Institutes of Health, she received a phone call telling her that her Uncle Sonny was about to die. I wrote this homage to our loved ones who passed on that night. Deb and I recorded it the next morning.
THE WASH OF TIME
Words and Music By
Sean Paul Murphy
[G] The wash of time breaks rock into sand
[C] The wash of time does the same thing to a [G] man
[D] The Wash of time. [C] The wash of time. [G] The wash of time.
The wash of time turned my brown hair into gray.
The wash of time takes a little more every day.
The wash of time. The wash of time. The wash of time.
The wash of time turns babies into dust.
The wash of time it comes for all of us.
The wash of time,. The wash of time. The wash of time.
[D] You can’t run away. [C] cause each and every day is the wash of [G] time.
The wash of time took my granddad and his son.
The wash of time for me it now will come
The Wash of time. The wash of time. The wash of time.
[D] You can’t run away. [C] cause each and every day is the wash of [G] time.
The wash of time leaves lovers on their own.
The wash of time leaves us cold and alone.
The wash of time. The wash of time. The wash of time.
[D] You can’t run away. [C] cause each and every day is the wash of [G] time.
Here we are singing it:
I still write songs. Lately I have been obsessed with story songs, especially ones that break with the traditional verse/chorus format. Here's one I wrote inspired by my favorite novel Moby Dick. The book covers many themes I have attempted to tackle myself. I thought it would make a great song, and here it is:
ISHMAEL
Words and Music By
Sean Paul Murphy
[C] My name is Ishmael
[G] And I longed to go to sea
[F] On a sturdy whaling ship
[Am] Trimmed with [G] Ivory
[C] My only friend was the harpooner
[Am] Queequeg was his name
[G] He’d said we’d sail together
[F] Our fate would be the same
[F] But it wasn’t [C] true
No it wasn’t [G] true
[F] Fate had other things in store
It had [C] other things to do
So it wasn’t [G] true
No it wasn’t [C] true
[C] The Captain he was Ahab
[G] His leg was made of wood
[F] The white whale took the fleshy one
[Am] And in hatred he now [G] stood
[C] He planned to sail the seven seas
[Am] In search of the whale
[G] But did he know his journey
[F] Would take us all to hell
[F] Yes, I think he [C] knew
Yes, I think he [G] knew
[F] He charted us a deadly course
Where our [C] lives were due
Yes I think he [G] knew
Yes I think he [C] knew
[C] Queequeg was a pagan chief
[G] In land long left behind
[F] But late one night he had a dream
[Am] Of the death that he would [G] find
[C] He bade to the carpenter
[Am] That a coffin for him make
[G] And to seal it against the water
[F] For the journey that he’d take
[F] He dreamed he’d [C] die
He dreamed he’d [G] die
[F] He had a lonely pagan vision
That he [C] could not dare deny
He dreamed he’d [G] die
Oh yes he’d [C] die
[C] Across the endless oceans
[G] We hurried to our fate
[F] Until finally we reached the place
[Am] Where the whale did [G] wait
[C] White as snow and old as sin
[Am] Like a tidal wave he loomed
[G] As we set out in our boats
[F] Our hearts were filled with gloom
[F] ‘Cause the time had [C] come
Yes, the time had [G] come
[F] Fate had picked this hour
There was [C] no escaping from
Had my time [G] come?
Seemed my time [C] come.
[C] I had no wife or children
[G] To tie me to the shore
[F] No one there to mourn me
[Am] If I came home no [G] more
[C] We work and struggle every day
[Am] And we try to mend our ways
[G] But will any of it matter
[F] When we sink beneath the waves
[F} ‘Cause we all must [C] die
yes we all must [G] die
[F] But is there anyone a-watching
Is there [C] anyone who’ll cry
Cause we all must [G] die
Yes we all must [C] die
[C] Harpoons flew and ropes entwined
[G] In his hatred Ahab died
[F] Strapped upon that demon’s back
[Am] He forever [G] rides
[C] Then one by one we followed him
[Am] Mere playthings to the whale
[G] But I alone was the only one
[F] Who lived to tell the tale
[F] Only I sur-[C]-vived
Yes, only I sur-[G]-vived
[F] Afloat on Queequeg’s coffin
I often [C] wondered why
Only I sur-[G]-vived
Only I sur-[C]-vived
Here I am singing the song.
For a number of years I played in the praise and worship band at Stillmeadow Community Fellowship, first on guitar and later on the bass. I did write a praise song or two but I never submitted them to the group. That felt like ego to me. I didn't want the music to be about me or my personal experience.
I have plenty more songs, but I think I've given you enough evidence to evaluate my songwriting journey. Although I've never achieved my goal of having a song recorded by a charted artist, I did write at least one song that the people who heard found memorable. That's something, it's it?
Most importantly, I had a blast doing it. There's a certain comradery you feel when you make music with people, especially when you're working on original compositions. I wanted to thank everyone I played with or who inspired me. Music has been a constant pleasure for me, so I guess I'm not a failed songwriter after all.
The Atomic Enema 2009 Mike, Jim, Nick, Sean
I want to end this blog with the final performance of the original members of The Atomic Enema in September of 2010.
I am planning a follow-up blog with more songs. Keep an eye out for it.
Be sure to check out my novel Chapel Street. It tells the story of a young man straddling the line between sanity and madness while battling a demonic entity that has driven his family members to suicide for generations. It was inspired by an actual haunting my family experienced.
You can buy the Kindle and paperback at Amazon and the Nook, paperback and hardcover at Barnes & Noble.
